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LMAO yessss, kate harrison!!!

The presence of Final Pam that’s taken permanent residence in my mind:

So basically: I knew it might be impossible find vegetable shortening (aka Crisco) for my Thanksgiving pie crust here in Athens. Crisco is pretty uniquely American, and Greeks are more likely to use phyllo than shortcrust anyway. That said, there are a handful of specialty shops in central Athens that sell things like Heinz baked beans and custard powder and Worcestershire sauce and other Weird Foreign Foods™ so us Sad Homesick Expats don’t have to go hungry (I’m always reminded of A Passage to India and their corned beef and tinned peas). So I went on Skroutz (the search engine for buying stuff in Greece) and typed in “vegetable shortening” to see if any stores carried it.

A notification came up asking me to confirm that I was over 18 years old?

???

I clicked “yes”??

Turns out there is, in fact, one shop in Athens that carries vegetable shortening. It’s a sex shop. The shortening is listed under “sex essentials”, as lube. For fisting. It’s literally called “βούτυρο για fisting” – “butter for fisting”.

at first i was like “why did they make those things in his head weird growths and not hair??” but then i looked it up on the Pokemon Wiki and

Patricia Cronin, Memorial to a Marriage, carrara marble (installed at Woodlawn Cemetery, Bronx, NY), 2002

do NOT say “i’d like a lifetime supply of raspberry crowns”