Friday 4/1: Today, I feel okay. My last post was sad - but also relieving to share - and I've felt better since. I've had strong moments of sadness, but most times I forget to write. Writing has helped me express my thoughts in ways that I normally can't imagine in my head, so I need to do it more. There's something about writing things out that just helps.
I'm always thinking about what I need to be doing (thus, what I'm not accomplishing). This makes me feel pretty badly. I also used to be a pretty positive person. I was able to see the good in every experience. What happened?
Life sucks sometimes. Everyday sucks. I kind of sit in this feeling for a little while. But there are somedays where I feel hope, happiness, and peace lurking in the background. On one of these days, I remind myself that I am in control of how my day goes and how I feel. This actually makes me feel better.
Until next time,
Jay
***I am currently on a journey of trying to find peace. Most of my life has been difficult, so even though I have amazing relationships and support now, much of what I experienced still effects me greatly. After doing research, trying to find others who might share feelings like mine and failing to find any blogs or posts that were so intimate, I've decided to start sharing my own journey to (hopefully) a deeper sense of peace and self love. This journey, as many others know, it not always pretty; in fact, it can be quite dark and ugly. But hopefully, by sharing my deepest, unedited thoughts and stories, at least someone won't feel so alone. You can do this, and so can I.
