life is short. so are my legs

mike’s hard look at yourself

sex is cool but have you heard Mr Brightside drunk at 2am because that is true bliss

“population growth” is just a formal mathematical way of saying “how fast can people fuck?”

actually its more like “how much faster are people fucking than they are dying?”

fuck to death ratio

exactly

rate of smash and pass

me experiencing love: this is too spicy

@starchygoodness

How are you going to look at this and tell me bears are real??

Forget the friendzone, tell him he’s the son you’ve always wanted.

I hate that the only way to find new music is to listen to new music………………………….. who made this system

*refuses to look at texts* I love conversation and communication

If our butt crack was horizontal instead of vertical, we would clap when going down on stairs or when jumping

i am just very uncomfortable with the way i am perceived like there’s a disconnect between my actual identity and the identity ppl assume i have and it makes me uncomfortable and stressed out

I’M HOLLERING