Hi everybody. I know it’s been a few weeks since Holy Fuck ended, but I wanted to say a few words of thanks and goodbye before putting the show away for good. I probably should have written this earlier, but I needed a bit of time to decompress. That last Holy Fuck show was, far and away, the most intense, most important, and best comedy show I’ve ever done. (Also longest!) It was amazing, but it also sucked the life out of both Jeff and me.
I hope you got into the show! If you didn’t, I sincerely apologize. I knew there would be a big crowd that night, but I couldn’t have dreamed that that amount of people would come. Holy fuck, indeed. The place was at capacity by 8pm.
We got as many people in as we could, though, and kept the show going until 1 am, so hopefully you were at least able to join us for the last hour or two of that crazy show.
Some highlights: Marc Maron performed, and I fucked up his intro so badly that he made fun of me onstage for minutes. I then felt so terrible about it while outro-ing him that he HUGGED ME on stage. He also murdered (obviously), as did Patton Oswalt, who finished his set with some huge compliments to Holy Fuck.
Megan Koester cried tears of joy onstage. I cried tears of joy onstage. And then I cried tears of joy offstage, during Megan Koester’s set. A shirtless Hasan Minhaj put Mark Alexzandr in a headlock. Jeremy and Jeff threw t-shirts into the crowd. Allen Strickland Williams told the history of Holy Fuck in powerpoint. Pat Regan wrote a song about Holy Fuck, and closed the show with it. People called out requests for comedians. People called out requests for jokes. People gave us standing ovations. It was the best night of my life.
Whether you made it in or not, though, I want to thank you. Seriously. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming out and supporting this weird, little endeavor of ours. I started the show never expecting it to last any amount of time. We booked comics we love, and booked our friends, and performed ourselves, and kept making videos, and you lovely people kept coming out week after week, supporting the stuff we made and continue to make. I appreciate you for that more than you will ever know.
The last week or so has been pretty emotional for me, and for a lot of other people, too, it seems. The morning after the last Holy Fuck, I woke up to over 30 text messages, and even more emails and facebook messages, thanking us and saying goodbye to the show. A lot of you miss it already, as do I. Thank you for that so much! (I HAVE A LOT OF THANKS TO GIVE, OKAY, PLEASE BEAR WITH ME.) (I LOVE YOU.)
As much as I miss the show, though, I know for a fact we made the right decision in ending it now. For one thing, if we didn’t end it, we’d never have had that incredible final show. And Jeff and I would still not have slept! But more than anything, it’s the response from y’all that’s convinced me. The most common message I’ve gotten from people is this: “Congratulations." And I think that’s accurate. Holy Fuck was amazing, and it was important, and it helped so many of us in so many ways, but now we’re moving forward, and that’s a good thing.
Before I say goodbye, I’d just like to thank a few more people:
1) Thanks to Jeff Wattenhofer. He ran the shit out of that show, and booked the shit out of the show, and performed his dick off on that show, and made certain I never lost my mind completely. Seriously, thank you.
2) Thanks to Matt Ingebretson. He ran the shit out of Art Fuck, and backed us up in producing the show on so many occasions. We couldn’t have done it without him.
3) Thanks to Megan Koester. Her artwork, as well as her incredible live performances, made the show even more unique and impressive than I could’ve imagined.
4) Thanks to Jeremy Burke. That man jumped in to help producing at our most tumultuous time, and helped carry us along in a lot of ways. He dealt with some serious overworked craziness from me, and he continued to work his ass off and be the world’s smiliest dude. I will never forget that.
5) Thanks to Jessica Ruiz. She wasn’t working with us at the end, but she produced the SHIT outta the show for almost a year. She also came out and supported so much before and after that, and brought delicious cupcakes to the show, and was just a great friend. She was a huge part of every show, whether she was there or not.
6) Thanks to Allen Strickland Wiliams and Jake Weisman. They were there with me from the beginning. They’ve supported me and the show in so many ways, including morally and possibly sexually. Also with sketches.
7) Thanks to Pat Bishop. Not only are we in that weirdo sketch group together, but he’s shot countless Holy Fuck intro sketches. Hire this man and love this man.
8) Thanks to Gavin Heslet. He made the first ever Holy Fuck intro sketch, and practically hundreds more since! Hire THIS man, too. Love THIS man, too.
9) Thanks to Eric Dadourian. When it comes to moral support, he’s my guy. He is maybe Holy Fuck’s biggest fan, and I am maybe his biggest fan. He started stand-up at the Holy Fuck open mic, and it’s been an absolute pleasure to see him either laughing in the audience or killing it onstage at almost every show for the past three years. We didn’t get him onstage at the final show, and I hope I find a way to make that up to him some day. (I’M SORRY ERIC I WAS REALLY REALLY STRESSED OUT THAT NIGHT AND FORGOT A LOT OF STUFF.)
10) Thanks to Will Weldon. He’s my roommate, and a great friend, and a great comic, and came to the show from the very beginning just to hang out and support, even when he wasn’t on the bill. He was the first comic I looked up to that made me feel like the show was worthwhile. I’m not gonna forget that.
11) Thanks to Gus Aldana, Todd Hunt, Austin Wolf-Sothern, Emily St. Amand-Poliakoff, Tatiana Tensen, Geege Federico, Bradley Haering, Erin Weller, Niko Sonnberger, Ndjelko Spaich, Jenny Stern, and anyone else from the Downtown Independent staff in the past four years I might’ve forgotten. You made this show what it was! I love you all.
12) Thanks to Josh Brooks. He worked at the Downtown Independent, and recorded the SHIT out of our album. It sounds amazing, and he’s the reason. Hire THIS man, too.
13) Thanks to Dominic Del Bene. He’s the guy from Rooftop Comedy that made the Holy Fuck album possible. He worked day and night timecoding and mixing and editing that thing both with and for me. And always with a huge smile on his face. RooftopComedy.com. Seriously.
14) Thanks to Jim Kirst. It’s his theater. He believed in us, and kept giving us a great timeslot for our weird, little show, and through some of the hardest economic times. Love that theater, go to that theater, and support that theater in any way you can.
15) Thanks to Patton Oswalt. Not only did he take time out of his busy schedule to perform at our last show, but he couldn’t have been more nice, supportive, and complimentary. It was a delight to have him on the last show.
16) Thanks to Maria Bamford. She’s always been incredibly supportive, even since the beginning. She’d come out and perform and stay after and watch and laugh… It’s been a delight having her on the show, and I’m positive it woudln’t have gotten as big as it is without her.
17) Thanks to Marc Maron. Of the famous comics who’ve done the show, he’s been possibly the most supportive. He did the show for the first time on our most ill-attended night three years ago, and kept coming back, all the way to the last show. He most certainly helped the show get this big, too. I’ll always remember that.
18) Thanks to Mark Alexzandr and Tony Bartolone, for sitting in the front row when no one would, and for loving the show possibly more than anyone.
19) Thanks to Vince Caldera and his friends, also for sitting in front, and also for loving the show, and for making Holy Fuck their hangout even thought they had HIGH SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY. I love you dudes.
20) Thanks to Nick Santana, and Peter Santana, and the whole Santana family. It’s been awesome seeing y’all laughing in the front, and talking to Nick about music, and getting pseudo-hateful drawings of Jeff. Seriously, I love you all.
21) Thanks to Evelyn Cypress and Brian Rodriquez and their whole crew. You guys have been coming since the beginning! I can’t thank you enough. Let’s hang out. For real. Also, I’m convinced that some of you are homeless.
22) Thanks to Elizabeth Williams and Adam Johnson and all their friends. Also been coming since the beginning! You guys are the best! I love you guys.
23) Thanks to Crystal Scyphers and Bob Dot and their friends. ALSO been coming since the beginning! You guys were at the first show! I love you guys, too! SERIOUSLY COME TO L.A. MORE!
24) Thanks to Larry Holdaway and Angelina Cardone. They came every week, and after awhile, Larry became our defacto bouncer. He offered to bounce for us at the last show, instead of watching! I love that man. I love you both.
25) Thanks to Phillip Alba. Another man who's been coming forever. I love you, man! Come to more shows!
26) Thanks to Ehrminia Trejo and her friends. You’re the BEST. You gotta come out to more shows! She’s been coming to the show so long that I remember, at one of our first big turnouts, she asked, “Hey what’s with all the douchebags?" I laughed and laughed so hard, and then yeah, we got a security guard.
27 & more) And thanks to so many more wonderful people who’ve been coming to the show since the beginning, and laughing, and saying hi after the shows, even though I really suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked sometimes.
I know I’m forgetting people. I’m forgetting so many people. But I think you know who you are, and that I love you. Thanks to all the comics, and all the audience members, and all my friends. This has been the four best years of my life. I hope to see you all at shows in the future, and at whatever project you undertake, and whatever dumb thing I do next. I sincerely love you all. Thank you.
P.S. One more thing: I hope you start something. I hope you start a show, or a band, or a zine, or a website, or a meetup group, or whatever is your fancy. Start festivals, build things, make music, bring people together. It’s so much easier than you think. All you have to do is do it. So much art sucks, and so many of us are broke, that if you just give us something to do that we understand or somewhere to go that’s safe, we’ll do it, and love it. I really hope you start something.
P.P.S. Seriously I love you.
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