Your takes on how quickly the phm fandom dropped support for Grace being aroace is something I have thought about SO MUCH and I am so glad you think so too. I feel vindicated
people just keep ignoring us and showing surface level support for us but they do nothing to actually try and dismantle amanormativity or anything like that. people will reblog "aroace people are valid!" posts but then they dont engage or listen to us when we want to actually talk about issues we face.
and yeah, sure, it feels silly, but like. it is genuinely IMPOSSIBLE to escape amanormativity. i want to have fun in a fandom! thats why im here! i want to talk about characters i like, look at art and read fanfiction! i wanna see what people think about the same media i enjoy!!! but its so hard to do that when the vast majority of fandoms wants to talk about nothing but shipping.
and the phm fandom was SUCH a breath of fresh air! not only was it GENUINELY the first fandom where a main character was headcanoned as aroace- but it was also the first fandom where platonic relationships seemed to be the most important and talked about and praised. there were so many posts by aroace people talking about how grace being aroace resonated with them, how it makes his story more deep and meaningful and how good of a representation it is to how it is in the real world!
and people would reblog it and engage! ALLO people would reblog and show support to that headcanon!!!!! that never fucking happens! that never happens! previous fandoms ive been in would only have other aspec people interacting with those types of post! here it seemed the MAJORITY of the fandom would engage!
but now suddenly if you want to talk about how weird it is that people dropped the aroace grace thing in favor of a crossover crackship you get called a buzzkill and get told to just block the tag and ignore it and that people are just having fun.
yeah. people are having fun. much more fun that they had with the aroace grace thing it seems. bmary feels like it appeared out of nowhere and took over most of the fandom. aroace grace is not that fun now that theres a fun dude to ship him with.
and like. i really dont like feeling bitter and angry about this! but it is SO clear that people just genuinely do not fucking care about what aspec people have to say. to them us asking for some representation and acknowledgment is asking them to stop having fun.
i already said it before- bmary is a really interesting concept! but it is SO CLEAR to me that people just want to see two conventionally attractive people kiss and fuck at this point.
and i will say- theres nothing wrong with drawing and writing smut and kissing just for the sake of it. but it gets to a point where you have to wonder why thats the only fucking thing people care about.
(i also want to add on- i feel like as much as this is a bmary problem, it also seems like people are just moving on from the main platonic bond of the movie in general. i see more and more of romantic gracerocky every day, and while i absolutely adore them, it is...a little disappointing. because to me it just screams that its not enough for people and they need them to be something "more". with bmary is even WORSE because rocky gets sidelined almost EVERY TIME. graces whole thing about being a coward was changed when he met rocky! he almost died saving rocky! they would both die for each other! they are best friends! they mean the world to each other! thats canon!!! but when you insert simon, a new human to ship grace with- rocky doesnt matter as much and suddenly hes just a sidekick and almost like a pet. thats one of the reasons why my interest in bmary dropped so quick.)
so yeah. id say im sorry that im pissy and "ruining peoples fun" but also consider this: i do not give a single fuck about what allo people say at this point. wah wah wah an aspec person is talking shit about my favorite ship!
im so tired of dealing with allos im gonna be so honest
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