god i need something so bad. but what is it

You’re telling me this plot has a hole? Is it tight?

sorry, i thought we all liked that fictional woman because she sucks

I am going to kill [remembers suicide jokes are bad] a healthcare executive [remembers the fbi exists] haha just kidding [remembers that tumblr hates posers] but maybe I’m not [remembers The Alamo] The Alamo

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

The lion will never financially recover from this

Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that

HE FOUND TUMBLR??????

I’ve been here the whole time.

yes they are toxic but it is because of the love. without the love it would be a lot healthier actually.

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

When you are unemployed, mysterious voices will tell you to "become a youtuber" but you must remind yourself that it's probably the amulet talking. The amulet you found last week, near the park. It has given you good advice so far, but there is always a line that you shouldn't cross.

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

Dying.

Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.

I’m so happy this post is back again asdlkfjsa

HAPPY TEN YEARS TO “TWAS I THAT SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE”

Happy 12 years to this post!

“Living weapon” covers a lot and all of it is hot

I think that banning porn has made this website more sexual over time, actually. When people had that porn outlet you could mostly just post in peace but now can’t mention any random thing without people relating it back to their horniness. It’s gotten worse, I tell you. I was here before the porn ban. Occasionally accidentally coming across a sex gif was the price we paid for mostly keeping on topic.