As I post more frequently on here a get to know me feels important. I am 19, an artist (jack of all trades, master of none) and an OSDD 1b system.
We use I/We interchangeably. Collectively we go by Hark, He/Him. We're queer and poc!!
Aside from system posting, I will occasionally coin terms. I also post mediocre art and slightly better photos on our side blog @harkaways-hive
I do plan on recoining endo terms and making communication cards, stay tuned! Requests are more than welcome!
Obligatory fandom section, I like -
- Deadspace
- DC Comics (Especially Batman, Red Robin, Hellblazer and Outlaws)
- The Walking Dead
- FNAF
- Attack on Titan
- Stephen King
And so many more :]
Tags and stances under the cut !
Tagging !
# Harkaway - Non system related posts. Ie art, photos, fandom posts, ect.
# From the Nexus - General system posts
# Hivemind Howls - Rants and longer text posts
# Brethren Moon Speaks - Asks and reblogs
# Hasted Hollows - Live blogs and tiny tidbits
Smaller / Series tags !
# Hark's 30 days - 30 days of DID answers
This blogs stances :
- Pro Recovery - This includes harm reduction! I may post about things I struggle with, but I will never glorify them.
- I support Alter Humans and Otherkins - While I am not one, there are people in my life who are, and we love them. Furries, althumans, otherkins and the likes are all welcome here!
- Recovering Pro-Endos - Those who used to support Endos are welcome here, we were once in the same boat, this one is important to us, people can change. I want to make it clear they are welcome here, even if they're wrong about facts and still learning, that's okay!
This is not an excuse to harass us for any reason, but kindly worded questions will be answered with the same kindness.
- Anti Endo/Radqueer - Pro endos, endo neutrals, radqueers and transIDs, we want nothing to do with you!! Follow our DNI and your own. - Radnormals are on thin ice, we don't support harassment!
This does not include paras, that's a disorder, not an identity. I am Pro non-contact paras and those getting help.
- General DNI - TRASH, Pro AI, Those who believe Cluster B are all abusers, ect.
- Anti Harassment/Bullying - No matter how much we disagree, we will never support harassment of any kind. Kindness is deserved, respect is earned.
Extra tidbits - This blog is PG-13. We won't post about harsh topics or excessively curse, however, I am an adult. Minors and those who are sensitive interact with caution, be safe! - we will remain entirely sfw and do post within entirely sfw communities. Safe, sane and consensual Nsfw blogs iwec.
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hi im just curious but how would you go about debating endos on certain points? i'm a mod in an anti-endo server and we just had a pro-endo join and try to debate us in the unverified chat. their points were:
"endos don't harm anyone"
"plurality doesn't need to stem from trauma to be valid"
"medical professionals back up the existence of non-traumagenic plurality"
the fact "traumaendos" exist
how the icd-11 backs up endos (it doesn't.)
how endogenic plurality is underresearched
how the brain is very complex
they also called us larpers (wow fakeclaiming no surprise) 💀 again just curious and want some advice for future reference!
-🍋
I’d recommend looking through @awm-bookmarks for more, as a lot of endogenic talking points are recycled.
1. Endos have harmed several people before. The history of endogenic plurality as an anti-cdd movement as well as the many testimonies of ex pro endos and singlets and cdd systems who believed that they were endogenic are proof.
2. The methods in which endos define plurality will always be vague and useless. Theres no need debating them on “validity”, when their idea of what is and what isn’t systemhood is flawed.
3. Medical literature ties alter formation to trauma. The neurological process that causes alters and the process that causes self-states in PTSD and C-PTSD stem from the same process.
4. “Traumaendo” is another example of how harmful endogenic logic is to pwcdds. Some links a lovely anon sent me about it
5. This has been debunked five gazillion times I’m so tired of it. Here’s my favorite one.
6. Endogenic plurality exists in a nebulous state to pro endos where it is both too under researched to provide legitimate claims but also researched enough to where you have to believe it without any question.
7. Brains are complex but not stupid, and wouldn’t form dissociative barriers for no reason.
Imagine fakeclaiming as an endogenic plural… throw stones in glass houses much?
It's yap sesh time guys, sorry, I'm skipping a day of DID, been having a rough time and I want to focus on something that's a little more fun to chew on.
Been reading up a lot about how introjects form and just system experiences in general because we've been in system spaces since we were 14 ? Yet never really looked at any personal accounts outside of our own experiences/close friends because we started therapy so early and didn't really have an interest in psychology, and starting off in endo spaces finding resources online always felt like I was being misled.
I realize about half of us are introjects, most are from childhood shows or games and have been around forever it feels, and they each have traits from their source that kinda, "carried over" that weren't modeled for us / encouraged by people around us, things that I still struggle with like telling people no, focusing on work, starting conversations or feeling proud of themselves. Which fits the general introjection experience, but also they're also people I was heavily attached to as a kid, they never seem to be characters from new media but rather things we engaged with on a regular basis for months and kind of knew the inner workings of exactly how that character thought / why they reacted certain ways, and when we weren't focused on a specific character is when we noticed brainmades who always showed up with just as much self awareness (like, I can look back at old posts from when we were younger on fanart pages (still unfortunately connected to our email) or journal entries and be like, "wait, that's also when this person showed up.. hmm")..
I wonder if that's how it always is with introjects and they all seem very self aware about why they react certain ways because media explains why characters react certain ways, or if our tendency to hyperfixate on media and how others think had anything to do with who ended up in our system when, like if I had been more interested in, say ningajo instead of teen titans would we have ended up with someone different ? Would they be like a sibling to me still because of my own obsession with family that I know had to affect the way we function now or would everything be different ? But also, how do you tell the difference between what was influenced by autism and what was just our reaction to trauma ? What was our brain doing its own thing and what was needs trying to be met ?
This is more of a personal post, I think I still blame myself for the creation of our system, like I couldn't handle things or do things, so I needed others to help rather than the idea that we were always, separate, that our personality never fully fused to begin with, and that I'm just a facet of a person who never got to be whole and that parts of that person are connected to the media that shaped us as a whole.
Please please please everyone take care of yourself first. No drama, no debate, no discourse is worth sacrificing your own wellbeing over. You don't want to end up trying to poor from an empty cup.
Syscourse unfortunately commonly ends up as a form of emotional sh. Sometimes that can be beneficial if it is what keeps one away from more dangerous forms but it can also push someone who is struggling further into crisis. It is ok to take a break. Syscourse isn't going anywhere if you want to come back to it later. But you always come first.
And if you see it getting worse, even if its not for the entire system, don't be afraid to reach out for support. How you plan for your safety is based on the member of your system that is doing the worst. Even if it makes things harder for the other alters who aren't in crisis it is a group effort to aid alters who may be in crisis. Even if that means getting them off the internet and away from spaces that harm them.
Every single one of you is important and valuable no matter how you have been hurt or how you have hurt others. Everyone deserves basic respect and support. Though importantly not everyone can give that support and should not be experienced to. That goes back to not pouring from an empty cup.
Now everyone let me welcome your unofficial emotional support puppy :)
On endoglazing / endobashing in the cdd tags, because my opinion has changed:
I think posting about how non-cdd plurals have affected you as a pwcdd / a system is a valid use of the tag.
By that I mean:
“The endogenic system community helped/hurt me with my cdd because of x”
That’s what my brain think of at the moment, but you get the core idea: Issues that do involve non-cdd plurals, but at their core talk about said plurals effects on systems.
By that I DON’T mean:
Just posting about how endogenic systems are/arent valid
Endo positivity in the cdd tags. Why should we care?
“Ugh I hate all endos or pro endo systems die” type content, as well as its reverse “I hate all sysmeds sysmeds should die” style of slop.
for reference, i use “plural” to refer to people who claim to be non-cdd systems, or i might use “non-cdd systems/plurals” (endos as a catchall, but this one is wider). I use “system/pwcdd” to refer to.. well, systems aka pwcdds.
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Do you have a favorite book or TV show about or including DID?
I believe this one is pretty popular now, but Moon Knight. Not only is it cool, cause it's Moon Knight but I think it tackles the actual struggles of DID pretty well, albeit, exaggerated. Mild spoilers - Stephen still called his mom every day despite her having died before the story started because he didn't know, didn't remember any of the abuse he suffered because they actually had clear roles within their system, Stephen the host and ANP, and Marc, the trauma holder. It's also cool that they clearly don't know everything about their system, despite being aware of their system. Sure, there's also a god in his head and they have magical powers, but the way Stephen and Marc interact really resonated with me.
Have you ever met another multiple offline? Tell us about it.
A few !! Most of them we met through therapy, a lot were much older than us but all of them were really cool !! It was funny, sometimes we'd be sitting around, waiting for group sessions - for severe ocd and anxiety, not CDDs, but we all had a different therapist who recommended us group sessions at this place who was really accepting of systems - and the others there were the lead singer of Megadeath, a dog, Jared (he was 19), green goblin and the token singlet /hj. We never really got to know them outside of that group, but they were always the kindest people, we all struggled with similar things which is probably why we benefited so much from group therapy, it was really validating and nice to see that people so much older than me struggle with the same things, and they still live long and happy lives. I wish I got to know them better, I wish we were friends with systems IRL, but knowing that they're out there, one of them most definitely in their 60s now gave us a sense of hope. I hope they got the same thing out of those groups that we did, I hope they're doing okay,
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hot take, but it should be lukewarm. Systems can use whatever terms they want, endo or not, real systems should recoin terms, you aren't stealing from them if they stole your disorder and are roleplaying badly. Steal shit. Though, it's not really stealing if it's yours to begin with, they call them system terms, so why don't real systems use them?
I'm just saying, if I have to put up with their ableist Idiocracy, the least I can get for putting up with literal death threats just for having an opinion that isn't ableist is a lousy half baked role I'll change around anyways
Correction here, since it's needed, we have roles we have recoined from places like pluralpedia, roles that fit us better than other terms we've found like Coufenite, Diplomat and Socializer, terms that fit our disordered experience but were found in pro-endo spaces. Just as we use a system app made by a singlet, and before that used one made by a pro endo (simply plural was pro-endo iirc) we're using the resources available. You're right, don't bring non-disordered plurality into CDD spaces, but do use terms that fit your experience, you should be allowed to use the resources available, even if they aren't explicitly anti endo because so much of the community online has had endos seep in like cockroaches and so many of the hyperspecific terms seem endo-neutral at best.
Not to say don't do your research, just to say, too many resources have been taken or repackaged to include "all systems", it's not really stealing if it was yours to begin with
Oh, btw, I support xenogenders, I support contradictory labels, I know the -queer communities have been losing their mind over this one, so long as you aren't hurting anyone I don't care what you are or how you choose to present. We've got a total of two alters who use neos, only one xenogender, it just never resonated with any of us. Our belief is no matter how weird, or cringe, or confusing, it's the outspoken who are paving the way for the rest of us, we aren't super active in the community so we're speaking from experience, not knowledge.
A couple things though, transmasc lesbians aren't the same thing as he/him lesbians, there's a long history of lesbian women using he/him, but I feel that men who identify as lesbians are a little invalidating to us as someone who collectively identifies as a transmasc gay man. Same goes for women who identify as gay men, long history, we feel invalidated and prefer to keep our distance. We don't hate you, you're just like mushrooms, not our preference but there are people who are head over heels, and who are we to tell you what to eat?
Same goes for my last point, speaking of neopronouns, we won't be using slur pronouns for anyone. This is a preference because even being black, queer and disabled with slurs we can reclaim for all of those, we don't like using them, we aren't comfortable saying slurs in any context online. Again, mushrooms. If it resonates with you, who am I to tell you no, so long as it's not harmful (and yes, there are harmful labels we won't support like rqs and transIDs) I say live and let live, until we're more educated on the matter and can come up with a definitive, educated stance.
Anyways, love you gays, theys and the queens who slay <3
Hot take, but it should be lukewarm. Systems can use whatever terms they want, endo or not, real systems should recoin terms, you aren't stealing from them if they stole your disorder and are roleplaying badly. Steal shit. Though, it's not really stealing if it's yours to begin with, they call them system terms, so why don't real systems use them?
I'm just saying, if I have to put up with their ableist Idiocracy, the least I can get for putting up with literal death threats just for having an opinion that isn't ableist is a lousy half baked role I'll change around anyways
Maybe unpopular opinion but I kinda want any and all DID education to stop focusing on the rarity of things and start focusing on the mistreatment of us as trauma survivors...
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
What’s your least favorite misconception or common misinformed fact spread abut Dissociative Identity Disorder?
I think that's pretty obvious, given the blog name. Endos, the idea that a system can form without trauma. But I think another one, is the idea that switches are always obvious. I could tell you that everyone in my system is really different from each other, it's true, I'm nothing like most of them, but rarely are switches obvious, rarely do we act drastically different from each other. I think people forget that OSDD is a covert disorder, it's not meant to be obvious, and we certainly don't act like the character from split, we don't go from my joyous and whimsical to Lexi's dark and brooding just like that, but we do switch from my energetic nature to Lexi's calmer one, my avoidance of certain textures to Lexi's indifference. Smaller things, things most people wouldn't notice, because it's a covert disorder.
Obviously not every system is covert, overt systems exist but I wish people understood it's not always obvious.
Who’s an alter you’re interested in knowing more about or befriending? Which alter do you know best?
Me personally, I really want to get to know Riley more. In sys, I have a mom, Howl and xe is literally the most amazing person ever, I love my mom !! Xe is also dating Riley, and is the only insys romantic relationship, which by proxy makes him my dad ? Our system is mostly messy familial relationships, found family rules, but I know most of my siblings pretty well, I really want to get to know the man who's dating my mom more !! We do talk on occasion, but it's mostly planning stuff, I don't think we've ever had an emotional conversation, I like knowing how people think.
You'd think that I would say I know my mom the best then, but actually I'd say I know Kassie the best, he's like an older brother to me and we get along the best, really similar interests, we clicked right off the bat and between me, Kas and Tim, we spend the most time in front both alone and together !!
