Ur New Step-mom

thats just the way the pussy crumbles

please see a gynecologist

if we skyping best believe im looking at myself in that lil window not u

i’m babysitting this 4 year old kid today and as his dad was leaving he said “be good today” and the kid responded by saying “dad i will punch you in the leg” 

WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR? - Official Trailer

Why do these mashed potatoes look so sad

me: [sees a cat] me: okay time for me to bother this animal

seven billion people on this planet and i have 2 friends

I love when my boyfriend showers at my house cause I get to lean against the door and hear him quietly scream

NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HES A METAL VOCALIST HE PRACTICES IN THW SHOWER I DO NOT TORTURE MY BOYFRIEND

mood: the mexican dude who told judge judy “this is your show but this is my episode”

me at god