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Sirius: I’m into dark humour.

Remus, turning off the lights: wanna hear a joke?

Sirius: I really love you...

#harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #remus x sirius #the marauders #text post #incorrect quote

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Hermione: you’re standing on thin ice.

Ron: I’m standing on the floor...

Hermione: its an expression.

Ron: it’s a carpet...

#harry potter #hermione granger #ron weasley #romione #ron x hermione #textpost #shitpost #incorrect quotes #i wonder what he did oops

Harry: do you like me?

Draco: yeah...

Harry, pouting: really?

Draco: you really think I would keep up with all your bullshit if I didn’t love you?

Harry, blushing: you just said you love me!!

Draco: Harry, we’ve been dating for three years.

#harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry #draco x harry #incorrect quotes #text post #lgbtq #we stan this pairing #they stan eachother #and eachother’s bullshit

Remus: I know you’re deflecting by telling everyone how hot you are.

Sirius: I’m not deflecting, I’m a complete snack!

#harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #sirius x remus #incorrect quote #they love eachother really #im sorry i havent been posting #ive had other things going on #speaking of #i should probably drink water before the headache kicks kn #oops

Harry: what are you doing?

Hermione, bent over potions homework, sobbing: my best

#harry potter #hermione granger #harry x hermione #potions #incorrect quote #harry was cheating in sixth year #or was he

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wizards

scorpius: dad, i can’t sleep. there’s a monster under my bed

draco: that’s silly, there’s no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight.

James: why are you standing on the table?

Lily: I CAN STAND WHEREVER I WANT THANKS VERY MUCH

James:

James: where’s the spider?

Lily: it went under the fridge....

#harry potter #james potter #lily potter #spider #text post #incorrect quotes #james would join lily #theyd move out #because damn spiders

Hermione: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It's because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Draco: that’s ridiculous. Give me one example of this.

Ron: bees.

Seamus: spiders.

Dean: terriers

Harry: malfoy

#harry potter #dean thomas #dean x seamus #ron weasley #hermione granger #draco malfoy

Prof. Flitwick: don’t talk down to me.

Harry: well I can hardly talk up to you. You’re too short.

#harry potter #hogwarts #flitwick #charms #short #sassy harry is the best harry

myqueernessisaquivering

Scorpius: Albus is delicate. Like a flower. Like a delicate, damaged flower who hates himself.

Scorpius: Don't tell him I said that.

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tooobiyo

Look at my puggo his name is Gus and he likes cuddles. He has an instagram

hogsheadcannons

My puggo ❤️

Remus: Sirius passed a note to me saying ‘your adorable’ and I wrote back ‘no, YOU’RE adorable’.

Lily: and?

Remus: we’re dating. So far we’ve been on six dates and all I had to do was correct a mistake but I like him so I’m not going to complain.

#harry potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #remus x sirius #lily evans #incorrect quote #incorrect quotes #text post #remus uses lily for advise on what to do with their dumbass boyfriends

Arthur: *walking around sulking after visiting the aquarium*

Molly: what did you think a Tiger-Shark was, Arthur?

#harry potter #arthur weasley #molly weasley #weasley #text post #molly x arthur #incorrect quote

*Potions class*

*An explosion happens*

Seamus *swatting the smoke aggressively*: IF IT DOESNT SET OF THE FIRE ALARM THEN IT WASNT AN EXPLOSION!

#harry potter #seamus finnigan #potions class #incorrect quote #gryffindor #explosion

Snape: *walks into a room*

James: why is he here? No one likes him?

Lily: be nice.

James, louder: why are you here? No one likes you.

#harry potter #james potter #lily evans #jily #severus snape #incorrect quote #really dont like snape #lord

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mischiefhasbeenmanaged

*Jily’s Wedding*

Remus: [turning to Sirius] Are you crying?

Sirius: [wiping his eyes] No, it’s just eyeball sweat

fanonical

mcgonagall doesn’t give out her address to students because they kept sending her owls with pictures of cats with ‘hey professor is this you’ written on the back

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