spencer reid’s hands

But this too, is a re-migration

10+ years ago - Obama, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, etc etc - So Many Celebs! Everyone had tumblrs!

Y'all have forgotten so quickly that this was once an innovative and exciting platform, not simply "soft, sad freaks on an unprofitable website"

Watching y'all pretend to be the fount of tumblr knowledge, but clutching your pearls that people other than Mr Gaiman or Wheaton are here is so funny

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I turned on the switch on google for "AI experiments" to see what the google AI summaries are up to

I decided to google uses for Pokeweed/Phytolacca americana. This plant is native to my area and has been eaten as a traditional food. It is also highly toxic. "Poke salad" must be prepared by picking very young leaves and boiling them, changing the water out 3 times while boiling to get rid of the poison.

Google's piece of shit AI tells you that the berries can be used as food coloring, and that you can make poke salad by "chopping the shoots and boiling them for a couple of minutes."

word count - 1,171

warnings - discussion of alcohol

After a day of learning specific operating systems and programs, most of which Penelope herself has designed, it's time to clock out. "So, how was your first day, hon?" Penny asks me as we walk into the elevators.

"Pretty good, hopefully I'll learn the layout quickly. And as long as no one sets anything up too high, I won't have to bring in a step stool!" I joke. She laughs and says, "Well, you could always ask someone to get it for you. I'm sure there's a few of the guys here who wouldn't mind helping…"

I blush, my mind immediately racing to Spencer. "Aha! I know that look! OK, spill, which one?" Penny says excitedly. We exit the elevator, stepping aside to keep the way clear. I freeze, then start talking again, trying to calmly say, "I-I don't know what you mean, Penny…"

She giggles a little and says, "Oh, come on, we work with profilers, you think I haven't learned how to do that, too? Besides, if you tell me who you're interested in, I might be able to tell you if he's available or not…"

I snort and say, "You sure know how to dangle a carrot in front of a gal, Penny…OK, it's…it's, um, Doc-Doctor Reid…" Penny squeals and says, "I knew it! Oh, Lina, you're in the free and clear, he's as single as a Pringle."

"I, um…'Pringle'? Really?!" I ask, laughing. "I mean, it rhymes…" she says, joining in the laughter. "And what are you lovely ladies giggling about?" Derek says stepping out of the elevator, Spencer right behind.

"Oh, nothing. Hey, I was talking with Lina, and I was thinking that as long as we don't get called somewhere this weekend, we could head out for some drinks and socializing." Penny says to him as we all start walking.

"Well, that sounds good, what do you say, Pretty Boy? You gonna join us this time?" Derek says, turning to Spencer. He shrugs his shoulders and says, "I don't know, Morgan. You know I don't really drink, and there's a book I was hoping to get through…" Spencer starts.

"Come on, man, it takes you, what, a half an hour to read? I think you can spare an evening." Derek counters. "Um, I-I don't drink either, so I don't think that's necessarily a requirement. Besides, you said something about karaoke, Penny?" I interject.

Derek nudges Spencer with his shoulder and says, "See? I told you that you don't have to when you come out with us…" Spencer puts his hands in his pockets and says, "Y-yeah, ok, maybe…"

I quickly glance at the clock and say, "Hey, you'll give me more info later, right, Penny? I gotta run! See you guys tomorrow!" I rush off to get to the metro, hearing "See you tomorrow!" from Penny behind me.

Sprinting and weaving through people on the sidewalks, I make it to the station 15 minutes early. Happy and out of breath, I sit down on a bench, take a book out of my bag, and start reading while I wait.

I'm about a chapter in when I hear a tentative, "Lina?" from my right. Sliding my bookmark in place, I look up to see Spencer standing there. I smile and say, "Doc- I mean, Spencer, hey. You take the metro, too?"

He nods and shifts closer. Fidgeting with his satchel, he asks, "W-what book are you reading?" I hold it up so he can see the cover. "Dresden Files. It's, um, urban fantasy. There's a new one coming out in May, so I'm re-reading from the beginning to remember the story better. This is the third one in the series."

"That sounds interesting. I usually stick with the classics, but I'm always looking for new books to read. What's the series about?" he says, sitting down on the bench near me.

I grin and explain, "OK, it's about a guy named Harry Dresden, and he's a wizard detective. As in, he can use magic and he solves cases. He has to deal with both mundane bad guys along with supernatural ones, like ghosts, werewolves, vampires, and The Fae. It's…I can't do it justice, but I can maybe bring the first book in tomorrow if you want to read it."

He gives me a shy smile and says, "I-I'd like that…I'd make sure to give it back by the end of the day, as long as we don't get called in." I laugh and say, "It's, like, 300 pages. There's no way you can read it in a day. Not if you're at work, at least."

"I-I could actually read it in about 20 minutes. I can read about 20,000 words per minute," he says quickly. Eyebrows raised, I mutter a soft, "Well, damn." In a louder voice, I say, "So, libraries were your second home as a kid, too?"

He just gives me a small smile. I give one back and say, "Tell ya what, Spencer, how bout I bring the first 2 in tomorrow? I'm not gonna lie, that's…impressive and something I gotta see. If-if that's ok…I'd be quiet, promise."

Before he can answer, the metro trundles up, and the doors open. As he grabs his fare, he turns to me and says, "I-yeah, I doubt it would be very interesting, though. Just…a lot of page turning."

After we walk in and get seats near enough to talk, I shrug and say, "I dunno, I still think it'd be something I'd wanna see at least once, like…a meteor shower, something rare and fascinating." I laugh a little and say, "I have to admit, I'm slightly jealous. I could actually get through my 'to be read' pile in this lifetime if I was able to read that fast."

Spencer laughs at that, his eyes crinkling as he nods and says, "It-it does come in handy, that's for sure." Thinking for a moment, I ask him, "OK, so, on days you're at the office, do you have a regular lunch break?" He nods, and I continue.

"So, would this be possible to do during said lunch break?" He quietly says, "Um, y-yeah, that would be fine." My face brightens a little as I say, "Great! What do you like to have for lunch?" Spencer just looks at me, and I quickly ask, "Well, you do eat, right? You consume more than just coffee, I'm hoping?"

He nods, and I continue. "OK, good. You've basically agreed to let me stare at you for 40 minutes, the least I can do is get you lunch." He softly chuckles and stammers out, "I-y-yeah, o-okay…"

- laughably incorrect, just flinging yarn around

- knitting the most basic scarf incredibly slowly because the actor Learned How To Do It For The Role

- old lady actresses casually knitting an intricate lace pattern while doing a monologue

1. that’s a garter stitch, which you can clearly see despite it being made of clay

2. they took the time to animate a modified continental style of knitting, including showing how his working yarn is wrapped around his pinky, and that he’s flicking with his index on his right hand