Freak for my partner

calling the sex I have with my friends “hookup culture” is insulting and incorrect. these are guys who take care of me and take me on dates and watch fun movies with me. being a disabled faggot too, they help me clean my place and take my trash out for me. they care for me and are on my emergency contact lists. trying to slap the label of “todays hookup culture!!!” on it is diminishing and devaluing those relationships

My personal definitions are as follows

Cisgender - a person who does not subvert the gender expected of them and/or imposed upon them by cisnormative society.

Transgender- a person who subverts the gender expected of them and/or imposed upon them by cisnormative society.

* note that expected/imposed gender is not synonymous with AGAB. A person's expected/imposed gender can change throughout a person's life and be different from the one imposed at birth, especially if they are intersex. These definitions of trans & cis are more based in the present rather than the past.

This definition of trans is incredibly broad and can definitely include GNC cis people, and that's by design. There really isn't too much difference between a he/him gnc cis woman and a he/him transmasculine person from the perspective of cisnormative society. The he/him gnc cis woman absolutely experiences many of the same struggles as a trans man would, and theres no reason he shouldn't be able to call himself trans if he so chooses.

Further distillation of the rhetoric I talked about in my posts about accountability issues in the trans community.

"She has kinks I don't like" get over it.

This part I actually completely agree with. If she's participating in consensual kinks with other adults, that's completely fine. I don't care what it is. Don't harass people over consensual kinks.

"she groomed kids" I don't believe you.

Here's where we get into the problems. Outright denial of any accusations, flat out. No consideration, no examination of evidence or listening to the alleged victims. Just denial.

"she was abusive to X" it doesn't concern you

Even if abuse occured, it simply doesn't concern you. As if other people can't be concerned about abuse taking place? As if victims of abuse don't have the right to speak up about their experiences?

"she told someone to kill themselves" I don't care.

Again, even if she actually did something harmful and there's proof, you're just not supposed to care. It doesn't matter. Someone bullying, harassing, and abusing others is no concern.

This is all abuser apologism and protectionism. We can talk about the harm that call-outs and spurious accusations do to people without immediately dismissing and downplaying all instances of actual harm.

The solution to intracommunity harm is not to immediately ignore all other instances of harmful behavior. In a community with little to no social safety nets, the only way we have to warn others of individuals committing abuse or harassment is word-of-mouth warnings.

A couple extra (non mentally ill) edits under the cut because I found some flags and wanted to add them

is it a "womans space" or is it a domestic violence shelter?

is it a "womans space" or is it a queer pride event?

You’re ignoring them in favour of suggesting that their deaths were more like “wrong place wrong time” or misdirected transphobia, rather than acts of sexual assualt and torture and violence that happened to them because they were trans men, masc or non-binary.

This is how radfems act against trans women:

The way that AGAB/ASAB language has been so heavily bastardized and changed to now being honestly completely incoherent in 90% of contexts is so baffling to me. There is a difference between assigned gender, biological sex characteristics, a socially imposed gender/sex, and your gender and sexual identity, all of which can coincide or contradict with each other in nuanced, individual ways. You weren't a "female" at birth, you were assigned that sexual label in order to categorize you into a gender that will be imposed onto you, whether that's consistent or inconsistent.

The fact that this was said by an intersex creator is baffling.

YOU ARE THE CHARACTER.

YOU LOOK LIKE THE CHARACTER

YOU ACT LIKE THE CHARACTER

YOU ARE THE CHARACTER!

When given a choice in Silksong, Hornet defaults to "Yes" whereas in Hollow Knight the Knight defaults to "No"

For Hornet this makes sense. She has an incredible drive; it's her nature to pursue and conquer challenges and, in her words, "claim what advantage (she) can" by helping others.

But for the Knight?