Robotic.

John: When I feel my head start to swell, I look at Ringo and know perfectly well we’re not supermen.

Interviewer: How do you feel about a nightclub called Arthur, named after your hair style?

George: I was proud–until I saw the nightclub.

Interviewer: Is your wife expensive?

John: Quite, quite…

Paul: How much did she cost when you bought her?

John: Er, she was about fifty pounds in Nairobi.

George: But she was second hand, wasn’t she?

Interviewer: Was she second hand??

John: How dare you!

Interviewer: Ringo, what started your practice of wearing four rings at once?

Ringo: Six got to be too heavy.

Interviewer: What careers would you individually have chosen had you not become entertainers?

Paul: I dunno. Maybe something with art in it?

Ringo: A hairdresser.

George: I had a short go at being an electrician’s apprentice. But I kept blowing things up, so I got dumped.

John: No comment.

Interviewer: What is your favorite food?

Ringo: I’m hung up on hamburgers.

George: All four of us are mad about hero sandwiches.

Paul: I have a yen for grilled cheese sandwiches.

John: George and I usually wait until someone else orders, then say “I’ll have that, too”.

Interviewer: Which of you is really bald?

George: We’re all bald. And I’m deaf and dumb.

Interviewer: Would you ever accept a girl in your group if she could sing, play an instrument, and wear the Beatle haircut?

Ringo: How tall is she?

Interviewer: Why don’t you smile, George?

George: I’ll hurt my lips.

Interviewer: Who in the world would the Beatles like to meet more than anyone else?

Ringo: The real Santa Claus.

Interviewer: What about this campaign in Detroit to stamp out the Beatles?

Paul: We’re starting a campaign to stamp out Detroit.

Interviewer: The French have not made up their minds about the Beatles. What do you think of them?

John: Oh, we like the Beatles. They’re gear.

Interviewer: Paul, you look like my son.

Paul: You don’t look a bit like my mother.

John: No more unscheduled public appearances. We’ve had enough. We’re going to stay in our hotel except for concerts.

Interviewer: Won’t this make you feel like caged animals?

John: No. We feed ourselves.

Interviewer: Recently there has been an article published in Rolling Stone magazine stating that Day Tripper was about a prostitute, and Norwegian Wood was about a lesbian. What was your intent when writing these songs?

Paul: We were just trying to write songs about prostitutes and lesbians.

Interviewer (to George): Hi, you’re not married.

George: No, I’m George.

Interviewer: Does your hair require any special attention?

John: Inattention is the main thing.

Interviewer: Don’t you ever get a haircut?

George: I had one yesterday.

Ringo: You should have seen him the day before.

Interviewer: George, is the place you were brought up a bit like Greenwich Village?

George: No, more like the Bowery.

Interviewer: Girls rushed toward my car because it has press identification, and they thought I met you. How do you explain this phenomenon?

John: You’re lovely to look at.

Interviewer: How come the Beatles, rather than 200 other groups, clicked?

Ringo: Sometimes I try to figure that out, too.

Interviewer: How come you were turned back by immigration?

John: We had to be deloused.

Interviewer: How do you feel about teenagers imitating you with Beatle wigs?

John: They’re not imitating us because we don’t wear Beatle wigs.

Interviewer: How do you add up success?

All four: Money!

Interviewer: What will you do when Beatlemania subsides?

John: Count the money.

Interviewer: Did you really use four letter words on the tourists in the Bahamas?

John: What we actually said was “Gosh”.

Paul: We may have also said “Heavens!”.

John: Couldn’t have said that, Paul. More than four letters.

Interviewer: Are you wearing wigs or real hair?

Ringo: Hey, where’s the police?

Paul: Take her out!

The Beatles: Yellow Submarine boxed set giclee portraits (2015)

“If he’s homosexual I would have thought he would have made a pass at me in 20 years.” - Paul Dense Ass McCartney

—

Joan Baez on accompanying the Beatles to their concert in Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Denver. 

26 August 1964