Here Is Where I Scream

I No Longer Miss You

I no longer miss you

in the liminal spaces

you used to take up.

The spaces between my fingers.

The hollowness that sat

just above my chest.

I sleep in the middle of the bed now,

making up for the emptiness.

I brush my teeth in silence.

I watch the sunrise alone

with my morning coffee.

I no longer miss you.

I no longer miss

the ache of trying

to express how I felt

when words couldn’t do the job.

I no longer miss

the way you’d make fun of me

when my anger

became a little too poetic.

I no longer miss you.

I no longer miss

calling out indignity

and being mistaken

for being mean.

I no longer miss

the cracks made by the pressure

of wanting

to just be enough for you.

I no longer miss

feeling trapped

inside my own head

because the only other person

in my presence

couldn’t even stand me.

I no longer miss you.

Not because you became

easier to forget.

But because somewhere

between the silence,

the sunrise,

and the middle of the bed,

I remembered

what it felt like

Then why the fuck was it so easy for you to leave?

You can’t just leave me and keep coming back and say that you missed my touch more than you thought you would.. or that you did mind to lose me.

But it was so easy for you to leave. And you don’t even want to come back..

So what’s the fucking point if you know that I’m miserable without you here and you know you’re not coming back…