Smint

But Sam is constantly on edge for a reason. There is a reason Jared padalecki’s portrayal of his character went through such a drastic change season 7 onward. How could he not be a completely different character? He has led over double his lifetime in a completely different place, being constantly tortured in ways the human mind literally could not comprehend. Of course he’s going to be jumpy. Of course he’s going to stutter. Of course he’s going to flinch at everything. Of course he’s going to be quieter. We have a character who spent 180+ years in a constant state of trauma and pain and complicated feelings toward an abuser. Jared didn’t suddenly stop being able to act post season 6. We saw what he did with gadreel. You just didn’t pay attention or even consider the implications of everything Sam was going through.

It really is such a fascinating case of genre vs acting study though, because absolutely no one else on this show, save maybe Ruth Connell later on, treats trauma in the same way. It’s not congruous with the genre. There isn’t very much variation with how jensen ackles plays dean post-hell. And to be fair, 30 years of torture is a lot less than 180. And the narrative sure as hell preferred to move on and never linger on what Sam is constantly going through. There’s plot to get through and more implications to ignore. This show stopped attempting to be a horror long ago.

some battered and bruised hawkguys~~

virgin veins | sam winchester

cw for implied csa and abuse watch on youtube

and writing sam winchester is like. he’s never fit in anywhere. he just wants to belong. he wants to get away from his family. he doesn’t want to let his family down. he’s full of anger. he’s the gentlest man in the world. he’s never had the ability to choose. he’ll do anything to preserve other people’s ability to choose. he’s a good hunter. he wants to be anything else but a hunter. he’s defiant. he’s complacent. he’s ashamed of the things he’s done. he’s proud of himself for who he is. he doesn’t ever want to kill. he’ll kill anything that threatens someone he loves. he feels suffocated by his brother’s love. his brother’s love is the only true thing he’s ever known. he hates his father. he loves his father.