get up off my deck

just imagine it. starlord-type Captain Andrew “Ack Ack” Haldane.

current crew total: 1 (himself). busted ass spaceship with only 1 (one) working blinker. left planet “Dirt” at aged 15. “raised amongst the stars” as he likes to say because “abducted by aliens” isn’t as sexy. nickname curtesy of a cute guy from Vega-Seven who could just not pronounce “Andy” to save his life.  personality off the fucking charts and smoothest Terran this side of the Seruvian Star System. (smoothest Terran.. ever, really. humans are rare out in deep space - they haven’t even achieved interstellar travel yet, fucking losers - but that doesn’t mean Dirt has a great rep)

he’s looking for a crew to join his daring adventures. he’s 27 (give or take), he’s got his own ship (did he mention that?), and he’s single but that’s not part of the pitch, he promises. not until he’s sipping his drink and staring across the bar at the attractive man paying him 0 attention. who’s a species he’s never met or fucked before but they’re similar looking enough - besides those cute floppy ears - so hopefully he’s got a shot. (and won’t have to deal with his translator chip struggling to translate the words “gay” and “cock” to a species that has no equivalent, please god don’t let him embarrass himself again)

The worst thing about treating those combat boys from the Great War wasn’t that they had their flesh torn. It was that they had their souls torn out.