i love how delusional some articles of clothing are, like you read the tag and its like “hand wash only/tumble dry on low” son you are a cotton tshirt. youre going in the warsh and whatever happens in there is in gods hands


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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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@hilarious-nightmare
i love how delusional some articles of clothing are, like you read the tag and its like “hand wash only/tumble dry on low” son you are a cotton tshirt. youre going in the warsh and whatever happens in there is in gods hands

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Dragon AGE 2
It’s a beautiful day in Skyhold, and you are a terrible Hawke.
Support groups for NPCs who have been forced to endure the terror that is Hawke is available on Patreon and society6.
(This post was brought to you by a serial cullen-fucker btw)

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Me: Right this time I’m going to romance Solas I don’t care if he hurts me I have to stick it out!
Cullen: You there! There’s a shield in your hand block with it! If this man was your enemy you’d be dead.
Me:
what is my personality but hyperfixations persevering
Emergency hotdog that heats up when you crack it like a glow stick
Me: Oh cool an adaptation of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth!
The Narrator: Orpheus looks back
Me: Oh my God Orpheus looked back
allow me to change into something more comfortable
*turns into bear and mauls you*

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Why does my future depend on me I don't like this
you know who really stresses me out? me. I'm stressing myself
me at work: im evil
1 second after i clock out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now
next day at work: evil again
emotionally cold character: i don't do relationships
pure cinnamon roll character: *exists*
emotionally cold character: shit
The “I wanted to kill you but somehow now we’re married” otp

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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[you kill me but I clip through the floor so you can't loot my corpse as my final act of revenge]
you: vampire
me, an intellectual: neck romancer