₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

watching death note with my family and after the college entrance episode my mom asked offhandedly if anyone had ever pictured L and light as a couple before. it felt like one single white dove had landed on a crystalline lake in a beautiful pure clearing. no i dont think anyones ever thought of that before

i'm in this weird in-between place where i love writing toto with a haunting sense of loneliness and unaddressed insecurities in my fics but at the same time i vehemently hate the notion of that being the case in canon especially the insecurities part and i can't really explain myself well because i feel like a ball of incoherent word vomit when it comes to toto i don't know what to say in my defense like i just hate the way the story portrayed toto in the last leg of the manga the whole "ron doesn't need me" spiral toto had in the last case felt (in my opinion) out of character for him and what i mean by that is the character toto is established as in the beginning of the manga like in all my rereads in the first half of the story toto was never ever concerned with his usefulness to ron he had always been more concerned about being able to help people so i wish his worries had more to do with how he would manage on his own rather than lamenting over whether ron needs him AND I DON'T MEAN that that's not a valid concern for toto to have it's just that it was the only thing he seemed to be down about that's the part that i can never fully make peace with i guess i really wanted toto to be a character in his own right even separate from ron like yes they are of course interconnected and their relationship with each other is beyond significant but just like ron has his own problems unrelated to toto i wish toto had his own problems unrelated to ron i.e. being a better detective in his own merit and i know detective work is as closely related to ron as it can get but rather than continuing to work with ron being toto's arc it'd have been cool to see toto being influenced by ron and the experiences he has had with ron to decide what he wants for himself regardless of whether ron wants to work with him in the future or not i feel like that was such a missed opportunity but then again the second half of the manga as a whole was a disappointing turn for me so i guess it is what it is i will see myself out

the entire "does ron need me?" gave us more rontoto content but at what cost

for me ideally toto could've been on his "does ron need me" spiral SOONER like when part two started and they went to BLUE together to have ron finally graduate after being exonerated from the bloody field trip case maybe toto could've been thinking about "how will i manage by myself now that ron is free to do detective work on his own" LIIIIKE LET TOTO'S THOUGHTS MARINATEEEE he could've been showing signs of worry over parting with ron for much longer i think it would've made the angst even juicier

Are there still Toto Isshiki haters?????

I haven't seen Toto haters in a while, I just made the post because he looked so cutie pie in this panel! 🥹