Random stuff

This is 1000% more motivating than every preachy “real writers write every day” post on all of Tumblr.

[Stick figure labeled THE ARTIST, placing a simple cake next to one with two layers and fancy decoration:  "aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.“  Stick figure labeled THE AUDIENCE, beaming, with knife and fork in hand:  "HOLY SHIT!  TWO CAKES!”]

I’m not crying. I just caught something in my eye. (It’s tears!)

Dat wink.

jESUS CHRIST

Brilliant

If Brian had stopped being a ninja instead of Dan: Ninja Dan and Brian Sexbang!

You gasped in horror, because your favorite cereal was Explodi-O’s! Only years of training has allowed your iron gullet to withstand the flavor (and Nitroglycerin) packed marshmallows! You make a lunging leap for the box, only to knock said box out of Markiplier’s grubby and unwashed hands.  Both of you look on in even more horror the previously experienced as time slows down to allow the gravity of the situation to fall. As that’s happening gravity is causing the box to fall with increasing fastness towards the ground. With lightning reflexes you to tuck, roll, dip, duck, dive, and tuck under the nearest pile of America’s Least Favorite Cereal™ Lead-Brick-O’s. You’re effectively shielded from the flavor blast but the poor sod known as Markiplier was blown to smitheroons. You stand tall among the wreckage of your local supermarket. Hundreds are injured and ones are dead. You look down at Markiplier’s freshly exploded corpse in wonder at how a routine trip to the supermarket turned out to be so amazing. But then you remember that your life is pretty awesome so you adorn your aviators and hop on your motorcycle. You ride off into the sunset completely forgetting that technically this was your fault and you should probably take a little responsibility for your actions. But you don’t.  Because you’re awesome.