† Vanya † @hiddenvanya - Tumblr Blog

you don't know me I'm from another school

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i-fuck-audis

MY FUCKING CAR

it just dawned on me that i have a tattoo appointment TOMORROW. yeah. barely packed. didn't do almost anything i intended to.

completely lost two hours on nothing. i was at least supposed to do the dishes and pack. but i did neither. excellent. didn't tidy anything let alone my stupid closet. I'm going away for vacation and leaving everything so dirty. meaning once i come back in five days all the mess will be waiting for me... ah. man :(

pain--isnt--needed

they should invent a mother-daughter-relationship that doesn't traumatise you

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fairycosmos

it’s the fact that work is an every day thing that doesn’t sit right with me. like surely not

kosmogrl

bookofshitposts

#how is it always him. man. yeah

cheaphalloweencostume

“everyone is mad at me and they just won’t tell me” —> “no one has said anything about being mad at me and i haven’t done anything to warrant being mad at so if someone is silently fuming about me and not saying anything that’s their problem and actually quite weird of them and i can effortlessly move on with my life”

cheaphalloweencostume

this took SUCH a huge deal of unlearning because, like so many of you, i came out of a home where being quietly in trouble WAS the default state, and i DID grow up not just with the assumption but borderline religious conviction that Everyone Is Mad At Me, I Am Bad, I Must Exist In A Constant State of Attempting to Pacify The Natural Rage I Inspire In Everyone. and no it actually turns out that my family are the freaks . and yours are too

cheaphalloweencostume

“this isn’t true because i DEFINITELY silently fume at people in the hopes they’ll figure out what they did and apologize” that’s not good. you shouldn’t do that

“this isn’t true because the ex-friendship that traumatized me ended explosively after they were mad at me and never told me why” that’s not good. they shouldn’t be doing that

“i don’t think this is true because my current friend group is constantly icing me out until i figure out what ive done to upset them and properly apologized without being told” hey thats not good. they should not be doing that

if the peacefulness of your relationship with someone (familial, romantic, friendly, anything) can be destroyed by effective communication/asking them for effective communication, you have got to get out of there. if you can’t get out of there, you’ve got to throw away any ideas about what that person thinks of you because they have their own shit to figure out before they can accurately read anyone else

germboyfriend

DO I SEEM ANXIOUS TO YOU?

DO I SEEM BACKED INTO A CORNER?

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peri

digital selfharm is real. do NOT check up on that ex-partner/ex-friend. do NOT reread those old messages/conversations that you know will hurt your feelings all over again or that will otherwise make you feel like shit. do NOT block evade to see if you’re being talked about. inhale. exhale. let it pass and you’ll be better for it.

#i feel people are more emotionally unstable because of this btw. because you didn't used to be able to do this.#you weren't able to go digging your own wounds in such a casual manner. i feel it's way too easy to go looking around for something #i feel that the lack of this ability was protecting us in a way I can't seem to articulate. while i can acknowledge that there are some #positives to it i also am almost certain that this is the illness that kills you. i too have looked at far too many things i shouldn't have.#i too feel the drive to go where I've been in hopes of feeling how I've felt. but it's not good. it's bitter. it's so very bitter.#so yeah i do genuinely feel like the ability to go check on someone could be directly connected to how miserable everything has been...#you used to have your head and these days you get complete insights into someone's personal life #does that make sense? anyway. post tumbl.

avantgarden-er

I am pathologically always speaking in a manner of jest

lamb-slaughtered

i just woke up for work(i slept well btw. everyone celebrate my first good sleep in so long with me) and it is raining! which is amazing except... i have to go to work and it sounds like the amount falling is not very naive...

this sleep schedule thing is easy man all you gotta do is be sleep deprived and suddenly you're going to sleep on time huh

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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lmaoooo i got stunned by the sun i forgot i can't sit in direct sunlight for 4 hours after years of not seeing even a glimpse of it. came home my ass was yellowwww

shoutout to the two romani girls that have just come to my door asking for old clothes because they resell it who looked at my face and said "wow you look like one of us. might've tanned too much this year" why thank you pretty girl i. i am one of yous. and no i did not tan at all this year

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