.Just Be.

We all have those moments where eerie, almost metaphysical like things happen to us. Thinking of someone we haven’t seen years, only to get a text message from them the same minute. Or having a really bad day, then turn on the radio to have “that song” blare through the speakers. Is it a coincidence? Or is it something much larger, and much more complex than that?

The second-best is this:

First pick a fake name, I use Jessica, then download the Google Voice app, hook it up to your email, pick a number, and set up a fake greeting with your fake name. You can set it to ring your actual phone like a normal call or text but they don’t have real info on you.

For me, it was when my sister and I were out of town for a conference and decided to check out some local bars. A small group of guys offered to buy us shots and we were like “eh why not?” Well of course after we take the shots and then try to move on after some brief conversation they’re all “where you going?” Cuz apparently any time men offer to pay for anything they expect something in return, they can’t just do it to be nice.

Fast forward to the end of the night, bar is closing, everyone’s leaving and we’ve been stuck talking with these guys the whole time. (This in itself is a whole other issue) So we’re trying to head back to our hotel when one of the guys asks for my number.

“I’m sorry, I’m not from around here. I’ll probably never be back here again.”

“So? You can still be friends right?”

“…I suppose. But I still don’t really give my number out like that. I don’t know you.”

“What do you mean? We’ve been talking all night.”

Never mind the fact that I’d been trying to get out of talking to him all night….

This goes on for a while before I finally relent. Now, before I can even think of giving him a fake number (not that I knew any offhand anyway), he basically says “don’t do that bullshit your sister was talking about earlier where you give guys a fake number. You ain’t got a boyfriend like she does and I’m gunna call while you still standing here to make sure it’s right.”

… *record scratch* yeah you read that right. We’d already had a discussion earlier that night about how annoying it is to us that guys can’t take no for an answer, even when you say you have a bf, so my sister has a few fake numbers she gives out when necessary. Again, that’s a whole other issue.

So I give him the number, he basically has me backed against a wall so I can’t leave while he calls it to make sure it’s correct then suddenly is all ‘polite’ like “you ladies have a nice night. Stay safe getting home.” 😒

As it turns out, he never did anything with that number but that’s not the point. It’s the fact that I couldn’t just tell him no and then that I couldn’t give him a fake to get him to leave me alone. That kind of aggression and entitlement is beyond scary.

Now I saw in the comments where someone said that most rapes are committed by people you know. That may be true statistically and even if you disregard the fact that that still leaves a percentage of rapes that are committed by complete strangers, that’s not the only kind of danger women are worried about.

There are so many stories of men getting angry for being rejected and lashing out in some way or another; whether physically or by stalking or attempting to ruin the woman socially/at work/whatever.

And even if we ignore that as well, just the simple fact the we feel uncomfortable in these situations period should be enough.

Why does there have to even be any actual follow through on those fears? Why do we have to be victims before our anxieties and worries are considered legitimate?

Also, I’m not saying this doesn’t happen to men as well. I’m sure it does. However, this is still overwhelmingly a problem women face. And you’re completely missing the point by pointing out that it happens to men too. No one ever said it didn’t.

Depression, especially major depressive disorder, is a serious mental illness. Depression affects how the sufferer sees and interacts with the world around them. One symptom of depression is losing interest in things that were once important. While therapy is the go-to when it comes to treatment for depression, there is now data that suggests music in conjunction with therapy goes farther than therapy alone. This list, from Psych2Go, is a suggestion of songs that those with depression found to be useful for themselves. You may find other songs that work for you.

1. Lean On Me – Ben E. King

Lyrics: “Please swallow your pride

If I have faith you need to borrow

For no one can feel those of your needs

That you won’t let show”

Why this song helps: While the tempo is more melancholy, those that suffer from depression have found a strong link to the lyrics. This set in particular suggests that talking about your needs with someone will …

Confidence is a tricky thing. Some people naturally seem to exude confidence, while others struggle to have any. And some of that is just who you are, some are naturally shy, and others are naturally loud. However, there are times when you need confidence. For example, meeting new people, giving a presentation or starting a new job. Confidence can be really useful and helps you to feel calm and assured in a situation where you might normally be panicky and flustered.

I am the first to admit I am not a confident person. It was always me that had trouble putting my hand up in class, leaving the comfort of my mum to actually go to school and talking in a group of people. I was always aware from a young age that I was shy. My Mum would introduce me to someone, I wouldn’t talk, and my Mum would say ‘oh Ash is just shy’. Which made me believe I could never be confident, because shy was my default. But shy people can learn to be confident, so Psych2Go shares with you 5 habits to boost self-confidence.

1) Assess yourself

Instead of staying in the fogginess that is lack of confidence, take stock. Forget thinking you need confidence, instead focus on what is it you want to achieve. Any time you feel a bit wobbly and sense yourself falling into ‘I’m hopeless, I can’t do it’ territory, stop and take a breath. Detach yourself from your emotions and analyse where you are, where you need to be, and what you need to learn. Keep assessing yourself. It’s important to keep everything in perspective. Before you do something that…