arthur's bizarre adventure

I’ll get this out of the way first - if I’m being honest, I’m not totally happy with how I’ve changed this past year. I’ve become less selfless, less patient, less charitable in my judgment - less quick to be kind in general, relative to this time a year ago. And maybe it’s a healthier direction, to value myself and my time more, to not spread myself so thin and give away more than I’m capable of. Still, these are traits that I value a lot and I worry about losing them. I hope I’ll be able to find a comfortable equilibrium for it this year.

I also didn’t work nearly as hard as I should’ve this year, and I think it shows. At school, I very much coasted on the drawing skill I entered the program with rather than pushing to improve, and that isn’t good enough. This year, I want to stop being complacent and learn to excel rather than just get by. Now that drawing is going to be my livelihood and I can throw myself wholeheartedly into it, there’s no more excuses not to get dialed in and start creating things with reckless abandon.

Finally, I'm going to try to be a better friend as well. I’ve never been good at seeing what isn’t right in front of me, and the time I spent in Shanghai left me very adept at being alone and probably more introverted than ever. I don’t know if I can change that so easily, but what I’m sure of is that as a bare minimum, I want to be better at replying to everyone who cares enough to make the effort to reach out to me. I’m fortunate to have many wonderful people in my life who have been infinitely more patient with me than I’ve deserved, and they deserve better from me in turn.

All that said, a lot of good has happened as well. I’ve not had a depressive episode since February or so, and I can say without hesitation that I’m in a good place right now. I went back to school for something I love and have a clear path towards a life I’m confident I’ll be happy with. I met a tonne of great people, and even fell in love with one of them along the way. There have been difficult stretches, but at the end of the day, it’s been very much worth it.