CisHets Aren't Valid

Don’t believe that you can be ace, aro, or aroace

Believe no aces or aros belong in the lgbt community

Think sex is essential to a healthy relationship or that not having sex is a sign of immaturity

lgbt people used to be arrested because their mere existence was seen as pornography. and i am not exaggerating this. i just finished reading when we rise by cleve jones, where he provides an account of the 70’s in san francisco where pictures of two men doing anything that could be even considered sexual (including kissing and hugging) would send the person in possession of those photos or in those photos directly to jail on pornography charges. also in san francisco, during the AIDS crisis, at least 1000 people, usually gay people, poor gay people, gay people of color, and trans people, died every year of AIDS for a decade. A DECADE. that’s 10,000 people dying of AIDS in a mere 10 years JUST IN THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO. this happened as a direct consequence of a homophobic government that refused to put government funding into AIDS research, a government that refused to allow anyone into their trials for AIDS drugs except young white men, a government that refused to acknowledge gay people except to villainize them.

please dont compare white jews/muslims to cishet aces.

Exclusionists:  YOU ARE BISEXUAL - YOU’RE BEING BIPHOBIC BY SEXUALIZING BISEXUALITY AND REFUSING TO ADMIT THAT BISEXUAL MEANS GENDERS, NOT SEXUAL ATTRACTION!!!!!!!!!!! QUIT BEING A DIPSHIT!!!!!!!!!

Me:  So……the bit about bi people being your siblings is…..what again? When is it that you’re going to step up to defend bi people against hate?

Wowie see that it a PRIDE FLAG. Wooooow.

Wooooowzers it’s almost like it’s an LGBT+ identity like being Aro or Ace-spec….

literally no one is saying that cishet aces and aros have “passing privilege” because they don’t. they have actual cishet privilege regardless of whether or not they’re ace or aro. they aren’t affected by homophobia or transphobia or their subsets. they benefit from both of these forms of oppression. t

Cishet polyamory people are still discriminated against and therefor dont have “full” straight privilege bc of marriage and adoption discrimination.

Straight trans people still aren’t gay.

Cishet polyamory people still aren’t LGBT.

Cishet polyamorous people are not discriminated against because ofntheir sexuality and they do have full straight privilege, its their relationship style thats being criticized and discriminated against, not their orientation. That would be like saying cishet kinky people dont have full access to straight privilege.

Also I forgot to add : being ace isnt a sexuality. Sexuality = who you’re attracted to. A cishet ace is straight, regardless of sexual attraction.

Polyamory is a relationship style though. Thats not saying its a choice but its just the opposite of monogamy, which is also a relationship style. And while polyamoury and kinks arent the same, both do not have to do with ones orientation, and both do not make someone LGBT+.

It’s not an orientation but I wont call it a style either. And it defintely isnt LGBT, just mike asexuality.

Asexuality is literally an orientation. Im not “modifying” my being gay with the fact that I’m asexual. Both are equally important parts of my sexuality. They both are equally important parts to describe my orientation. If a cishet ace is getting shit because of their asexuality, its not attacking a fucking “modifier” its an attack on their orientation. A modifier by dedinition is something that doesnt change the meaning of the original thing it modifies and just describes how or what something is. Asexual doesnt say how one is attracted, it says who. Even in the SAM it still is a who. If anything the added romantic orientation would be a modifier by your standards because that would be what “changes” the base orientation. This isnt true because thats not how sexualities work, but if we were being technical its “I’m attracted to no one sexually, but I only want relationships with boys” not “I’m attracted to boys, but I dont want to fuck anyone” which is how yall like to water down asexuality.

Its… literally a relationship style. But if you dont think that wanting relationships with, or being able to be attracted to multiple people at a time isnt a relationship style PLEASE tell me what exactly you think it is

And thats not actually what the community is for? Its for people who are oppressed by heterosexism and cissexism. Thats the actual axis of oppression. You arent oppressed under homophobia or transphobia. Homophobia and transphobia is the bigotry that some people under these face. Those arent the only ones that count though. Lesbophobia, biphobia, enbyphbia, panphobia, aphobia, and even queerphobia are all things that are perpetuated under heterosexism (these are also perpetuated by intracommunity bigotry but thats jot really what im referring to right now, and is a discussion for another day). Its reductive to just say you gotta deal with homophobia or transphobia because these water down the shit that people who arent gay but arent straight either and what people who arent binary trans deal with because there problems are in fact different. Hell, gay dudes and lesbians face different things, and its why lesbophobia isnt the same as homophobia.

And heterosexisn is absolutely an axis in which asexuals are not on top of. Even cishet aces still have to deal with aphobia because of their being ace, and therefore are still a target because of their sexuality. Thats why the ace community is a part of the larger LGBT+ community. And that doesnt hurt anyone! Cishet aces are only going to be in ace spaces or general all community spaces that are also open to allies that arent in the community. Its not like cishet aces are gonna be a part of trans discussion groups, or lesbian support groups. Just like literally everyone else in the community they have their own spaces and groups. They can only be allies to other groups within the community. And if in an online or irl space one is being bigoted or breaking the rules, they will be kicked out just like Anyone Else.

“You arent oppressed under homophobia and transphobia” this alone made me want to scream. Do you seriously think that???? Like wtf? CISHETS HATE US BC WE’RE SGA AND/OR TRANS THEY HATE US BC WE E X I S T BC THEY THINK OUR ATTRACTION IS GROSS AND OUR GENDER IDENTITY IS UNNATURAL LIKE IS THIS THE NEW INCLU ARGUMENT?? HOMIPHOBIA DOESNT EXIST??? ALSO EVEN IF THIS HETEROSEXISM SHIT IS A THING CISHET ACES STILL ADHER TO IT REGARDLESS.

Lesbiphobia is the intersection of homophobia and misogyny its literally a subset of homophobia same as biphobia. Queerphobia doesnt exist queer is a slur. Aphobia is discrimination bc you dont feel sexual attraction it has jackshit to do with homophobia.

Like y'all are seriously denyng homophobia and transphobia just to present cishet aces as oppressed lmao I cant even. The race equivalent would be “racism isnt a thing you’re not oppressed by it you’re oppressed by whitesexism so Eastern europeans are valid PoC uwu”.

Also non binary ppl are also oppressed under transphobia?? Just bc some issues are different doesnt mean the axis has to be scraped off as some heterosexism shit. Trans men and trans women face different issues too, we’re still oppressed by transphobia. I’m just trying to make sense of what you’re saying but its total bs.

You’re literally proving my original point aka if aces are oppressed for approaching their attraction/relationships differently then anyone who does must be lgbt by your logic. Polyamory is under heterosexism I guess? Kink too? Gnc cishets?? Ppl from different cultures than the one they live in?

And yeah it hurts. Safe spaces dont include allies but bc of this whole ace = queer shit cishet aces can invade them. I have only One safe space in my country if there was some cishet weirdo who thinks not having sexual attraction is queer they’d catch these hands. Already now we can see aces being homophobic/transphobic/demanding lgbt ppl to not show affection, not talk about dating or sex. And tbh? Cishet aces have nothing in common with us. Nothing. Trans ppl cis lgb have so much shared history and our oppressions overlap. We dont have that with cishet aces, they’re nothing like us.

If you genuinely read what i said and got “homophobia doesnt exist” out of “the actual axis of oppression LGBT+ people face is heterosexism and cissexism, whereas homophobia and transphobia are the names for the bigotry and discrimination” then I cant help you :/

Lesbophobia isnt just the intersection of homophobia and misogyny? They face things specifically for being a lesbian, not just because someones a homophobe and also they hate women. Biphobia isn’t a subset of homophobia because there are specific disadvantages that bisexuals deal with that gat people do not, and its reductive to say its just a different branch of homophobia. Queer also exists as an identity, and people who identify as such face issues that again are more nuanced than just being a chip off of homophobia. Homophobia is not the required experience for being in the LGBT+ community

Again, since you clearly arent getting it, I’m not saying transphobia doesnt exist or anything. Im saying that the actual axis of oppression, the term first the societal disadvantage trans people face is cissexism. Also theres literally a word for specific disadvantages trans women face (transmisogyny) because their issues are different and more complex than that of transmasculine people. Acknowledge people in closely related groups face dufferent issues that arent just branches off of a more “acceptable” term for you isnt a bad thing. If anything its more helpful because it actually addresses everyones issues instead of ignoring groups for ease or whatever. Historically the LGBT+ community has been extremely shitty because they keep doing this and dismissing other groups or terms because they dont know them.

Heterosexism literally only refers to heterosexuals being the oppressive group with regards to sexuality. Polyamoury isnt a sexuality. Kink isnt a sexuality. You took a month to respond and you couldnt even look up the term youre trying to mock??

Safe spaces dont have screening processes. If a cishet wanted to “invade” they could say they were anything, even gay, to get in. Does that mean we should not let gay people in safe spaces because some people who dont belong might say theyre gay to infiltrate? Or even a better question, why do yall think cishets want to be in our spaces. You think cishets, people who literally preface and end interactions with people of the same gender with ‘no homo’ or ‘not to be gay but’ want to play as queer? What in the hell are you basing this off of?

Cishet polyamory people are still discriminated against and therefor dont have “full” straight privilege bc of marriage and adoption discrimination.

Straight trans people still aren’t gay.

Cishet polyamory people still aren’t LGBT.

Cishet polyamorous people are not discriminated against because ofntheir sexuality and they do have full straight privilege, its their relationship style thats being criticized and discriminated against, not their orientation. That would be like saying cishet kinky people dont have full access to straight privilege.

Also I forgot to add : being ace isnt a sexuality. Sexuality = who you’re attracted to. A cishet ace is straight, regardless of sexual attraction.

Polyamory is a relationship style though. Thats not saying its a choice but its just the opposite of monogamy, which is also a relationship style. And while polyamoury and kinks arent the same, both do not have to do with ones orientation, and both do not make someone LGBT+.

It’s not an orientation but I wont call it a style either. And it defintely isnt LGBT, just mike asexuality.

Asexuality is literally an orientation. Im not “modifying” my being gay with the fact that I’m asexual. Both are equally important parts of my sexuality. They both are equally important parts to describe my orientation. If a cishet ace is getting shit because of their asexuality, its not attacking a fucking “modifier” its an attack on their orientation. A modifier by dedinition is something that doesnt change the meaning of the original thing it modifies and just describes how or what something is. Asexual doesnt say how one is attracted, it says who. Even in the SAM it still is a who. If anything the added romantic orientation would be a modifier by your standards because that would be what “changes” the base orientation. This isnt true because thats not how sexualities work, but if we were being technical its “I’m attracted to no one sexually, but I only want relationships with boys” not “I’m attracted to boys, but I dont want to fuck anyone” which is how yall like to water down asexuality.

Its… literally a relationship style. But if you dont think that wanting relationships with, or being able to be attracted to multiple people at a time isnt a relationship style PLEASE tell me what exactly you think it is

And thats not actually what the community is for? Its for people who are oppressed by heterosexism and cissexism. Thats the actual axis of oppression. You arent oppressed under homophobia or transphobia. Homophobia and transphobia is the bigotry that some people under these face. Those arent the only ones that count though. Lesbophobia, biphobia, enbyphbia, panphobia, aphobia, and even queerphobia are all things that are perpetuated under heterosexism (these are also perpetuated by intracommunity bigotry but thats jot really what im referring to right now, and is a discussion for another day). Its reductive to just say you gotta deal with homophobia or transphobia because these water down the shit that people who arent gay but arent straight either and what people who arent binary trans deal with because there problems are in fact different. Hell, gay dudes and lesbians face different things, and its why lesbophobia isnt the same as homophobia.

And heterosexisn is absolutely an axis in which asexuals are not on top of. Even cishet aces still have to deal with aphobia because of their being ace, and therefore are still a target because of their sexuality. Thats why the ace community is a part of the larger LGBT+ community. And that doesnt hurt anyone! Cishet aces are only going to be in ace spaces or general all community spaces that are also open to allies that arent in the community. Its not like cishet aces are gonna be a part of trans discussion groups, or lesbian support groups. Just like literally everyone else in the community they have their own spaces and groups. They can only be allies to other groups within the community. And if in an online or irl space one is being bigoted or breaking the rules, they will be kicked out just like Anyone Else.

“You arent oppressed under homophobia and transphobia” this alone made me want to scream. Do you seriously think that???? Like wtf? CISHETS HATE US BC WE’RE SGA AND/OR TRANS THEY HATE US BC WE E X I S T BC THEY THINK OUR ATTRACTION IS GROSS AND OUR GENDER IDENTITY IS UNNATURAL LIKE IS THIS THE NEW INCLU ARGUMENT?? HOMIPHOBIA DOESNT EXIST??? ALSO EVEN IF THIS HETEROSEXISM SHIT IS A THING CISHET ACES STILL ADHER TO IT REGARDLESS.

Lesbiphobia is the intersection of homophobia and misogyny its literally a subset of homophobia same as biphobia. Queerphobia doesnt exist queer is a slur. Aphobia is discrimination bc you dont feel sexual attraction it has jackshit to do with homophobia.

Like y'all are seriously denyng homophobia and transphobia just to present cishet aces as oppressed lmao I cant even. The race equivalent would be “racism isnt a thing you’re not oppressed by it you’re oppressed by whitesexism so Eastern europeans are valid PoC uwu”.

Also non binary ppl are also oppressed under transphobia?? Just bc some issues are different doesnt mean the axis has to be scraped off as some heterosexism shit. Trans men and trans women face different issues too, we’re still oppressed by transphobia. I’m just trying to make sense of what you’re saying but its total bs.

You’re literally proving my original point aka if aces are oppressed for approaching their attraction/relationships differently then anyone who does must be lgbt by your logic. Polyamory is under heterosexism I guess? Kink too? Gnc cishets?? Ppl from different cultures than the one they live in?

And yeah it hurts. Safe spaces dont include allies but bc of this whole ace = queer shit cishet aces can invade them. I have only One safe space in my country if there was some cishet weirdo who thinks not having sexual attraction is queer they’d catch these hands. Already now we can see aces being homophobic/transphobic/demanding lgbt ppl to not show affection, not talk about dating or sex. And tbh? Cishet aces have nothing in common with us. Nothing. Trans ppl cis lgb have so much shared history and our oppressions overlap. We dont have that with cishet aces, they’re nothing like us.

If you genuinely read what i said and got “homophobia doesnt exist” out of “the actual axis of oppression LGBT+ people face is heterosexism and cissexism, whereas homophobia and transphobia are the names for the bigotry and discrimination” then I cant help you :/

Lesbophobia isnt just the intersection of homophobia and misogyny? They face things specifically for being a lesbian, not just because someones a homophobe and also they hate women. Biphobia isn’t a subset of homophobia because there are specific disadvantages that bisexuals deal with that gat people do not, and its reductive to say its just a different branch of homophobia. Queer also exists as an identity, and people who identify as such face issues that again are more nuanced than just being a chip off of homophobia. Homophobia is not the required experience for being in the LGBT+ community

Again, since you clearly arent getting it, I’m not saying transphobia doesnt exist or anything. Im saying that the actual axis of oppression, the term first the societal disadvantage trans people face is cissexism. Also theres literally a word for specific disadvantages trans women face (transmisogyny) because their issues are different and more complex than that of transmasculine people. Acknowledge people in closely related groups face dufferent issues that arent just branches off of a more “acceptable” term for you isnt a bad thing. If anything its more helpful because it actually addresses everyones issues instead of ignoring groups for ease or whatever. Historically the LGBT+ community has been extremely shitty because they keep doing this and dismissing other groups or terms because they dont know them.

Heterosexism literally only refers to heterosexuals being the oppressive group with regards to sexuality. Polyamoury isnt a sexuality. Kink isnt a sexuality. You took a month to respond and you couldnt even look up the term youre trying to mock??

Safe spaces dont have screening processes. If a cishet wanted to “invade” they could say they were anything, even gay, to get in. Does that mean we should not let gay people in safe spaces because some people who dont belong might say theyre gay to infiltrate? Or even a better question, why do yall think cishets want to be in our spaces. You think cishets, people who literally preface and end interactions with people of the same gender with ‘no homo’ or 'not to be gay but’ want to play as queer? What in the hell are you basing this off of?

If you think homophobia is just discrimination within heterosexism then you are a homophobe. Cishets specifically hate us for beinh sga and/or trans. Do you think someone who hates gay men will be okay with lesbians or vice versa? Lesbians are literally hated for being SGA, same with bisexuals, its just that biphobia is also about discrimination for beig attracted to multiple genders on top of being sga.

If queer is an dientity with "specific" issues (although im sure its just us saying that its a slur lmao) then faggot is a slur too and faggotphobia is different from homophobia.

I'm aware of transmisogyny, do you think I'm an idiot or what? I'm specifically talking about the oppression that trans men and trans women have in common AKA TRANSPHOBIA. Which is what we're oppressed under! And cishet aces arent oppressd under that! Shocker!

Heterosexuals are our oppressors and it includes cishet aces and aros bc they are HET. It really doesnt take a lot of brain cells to get. Asexuality isnt a sexuality and being gay is what makes us oppressed anyway so aroaces arent lgbt either.

And I reply whenever the fuck I want. I can reply in a year or never. I dont owe you a reply, and I have more in my life than just ace discourse.

Actually, I'm basing it off multiple cishets, whether ace, kinksters, demisexuals whatecer the crap else routinely wanting to be called queer and invading our spaces. And the fact that we cant check doesnt mean we can just mublically let cishets in. Its literally a bad thibg to pretend to be lgbt to take our ressources like why the fuck do you think this is a good argument?? Anyone can pretend to be autistic and get in autistic only spaces its not a good fucking thing lol