AHP's Discourse Blog

Since during my self-imposed exodus from discourse I discovered that I have a distinct lack of self control, I’m throwing myself back into this nightmare - but there will be a few changes.

 I’m not going to be AHP-discourse anymore.

I’m going to leave this blog and the posts on it as an archive, of sorts.  I don’t regret the things I’ve said or done thus far, but I also want to start fresh with a new blog.   Now, I’ll be over at bi-on-main (yes, I know the person running that blog - and yes, she’s fine with me taking the URL).  I’ll be sharing a link after this post.

I’m done being nice to people who have no intention of being nice back.

I hate the phrase “No more ms. nice girl” because I’m generally not all that nice of a person - but I have had it with being polite to people who are only looking for an argument.  Too often, inclusionists are expected to bite their tongues and offer only civil debate while we have our identities invalidated or our very existence debated.   No more.  If you’re going to be an argument seeking prick, that’s exactly what you’ll be getting in return.  

Hate Anons will be answered with ridiculous gifs

First of all, my name is “Debi” - not debbie, not debie, not deby.  I’ve told you this a dozen times; Quit being a fucking asshole for the sake of being a fucking asshole.

Second of all, I AM disabled BECAUSE of my agoraphobia.  I am about 110% over you being a fucking douchewad who refuses to acknowledge that there are forms of disability that are NOT physical.  Agoraphobia prevents me from leaving the house to earn a living, attend medical appointments, etc.   Working from home isn’t always fucking feasible so maybe take two goddamned seconds to realize that you’re fucking wrong instead of doubling down on your never-ending ignorance of life outside of your little bubble of devoted followers.

Third, you apologized ONCE - and it wasn’t for reblogging the post in the first place, it was for doing so “uncritically”.  That apology? It was never made to me, the person the post was fucking made about, the person who was told that I would be crushed by the cogs of capitalism, which would be it’s only success.  Instead, I got to spend the weeks following being harassed on a regular basis and called a “Fucking freak” for being offended about it.  You don’t have to like me, but you have to at least have enough brain cells to recognize that that was an incredibly fucked up line of thought to perpetuate.

I’m unhappy.

I know, I know - this is a coffin of my own making.  I created this hellhole by getting involved with discourse in the first place, made it worse by STAYING involved for as long as I have been and not heeding the warnings of those who told me that I needed to focus on my life offline as much as I was worried about the one online.

Discourse was never fun, was never something that I did because it entertained or amused me; It was something that I felt like I needed to do.  Sure, I was a “baby bi” when I first got involved, but I felt like I owed it to those younger than me, those in a worse mental position than I was in, to stand up and fight for aces/aros right to be respected.  I would absorb some of the bullshit that exclusionists were slinging gleefully in an attempt to protect those who weren’t as sure of their identity and would have crumbled under the constant harassment, death threats, etc.

Somewhere along the way, it stopped being about that.  It stopped being about one side arguing for inclusion and another arguing for exclusion - and instead became pissing matches of who is oppressed worse, to the point of attacking people for no other reason than because you could.

When you stop disagreeing with people because you don’t like their principles and instead attack them for their age or choice in URL, it stops being discourse - and moves right into the category of bullshit.

The bullied became bullies - and that is NOT okay.

My mental health deteriorated a little more with each shitstorm.  My entire life started to revolved around discourse, when I could log on to check the bullshit, when I could reply to the latest screenshot of bullshit.   

That’s not healthy.

For my own sake, I’m taking a hiatus from discourse.

I know, there’s an exclusionist somewhere, going to chime in with some hate-filled rhetoric or a message of “Who gives a fuck??? Who even are you?? #go outside”.   Y’all can think whatever you want.   At the end of the day, no one’s opinions are going to change.  Inclusionists will always think Aces/Aros should be a part of the LGBT+ community, and Exclusionists will always disagree.  Their target may change - sure, it’s aces and aros now, but who’s to say that tomorrow they won’t circle back around to Bi people or Trans people? - but the core line of thought remains the same.

I’ll leave the blog up, since I know a lot of people use it for resources or receipts of bullshit.  Feel free to continue to do so.   Since the ‘actualhumanpotato’ personal blog is a sideblog to this account, I will also be leaving it behind - I’ll now be over at “actualdisasterbi” if you need to reach me for whatever reason.

I truly wish you all the best.

Here’s to a powerful 20gayteen, 20biteen, and beyond

Exclusionist: pretty bold words coming from someone who doesn’t even go outside.

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Are exclusionists ever going to come up with a different defense other than to resort to mocking my very real disability?