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kesha coming for my throat as always with her new album!!! FUCK

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

This was like reading a Lemony Snicketts book.

ppl in big cities be like "south side" "east end" "upper west side" "north beach" "southwest corner" "left area" "diagonal land"

in small towns we dont need all this specifity nonsense when giving directions. its either by the walmart or its on the opposite side from the walmart

anyway. Love is the point

I’m making it a habit to say “drac u later” when I leave a room and “I’m backula” when I enter a room

I'm done being traumatized can I have a new backstory now pls

whoever has me blocked let’s get married

What? No april fools joke this year tumblr staff? Not really feelin it this year tumblr staff? No quip about copy or lizards tumblr staff? No weird horse we have to keep alive tumblr staff? No fake premium avatars tumblr staff?? You disgust me