" i am desperate ! " i cry to the crimson skies . it's raining on me and it feels like blood. my vicious maw opens wide and drinks. the gods are weeping and i drink their tears. " what was i made for? " and they do not respond. so i drink, and i drink, and i drink, until my stomach aches and i crumble underneath the weight of my own existence.

i'm not important. it's okay. i think i will always be that...person. the one that people only want when they want something. and maybe that is my purpose. maybe that's why i was put on this stupid planet, to be the person that people only speak to when they want something. and maybe i'm okay with it because at least i'm getting attention, when it happens. and because my heart is so full, and boundless, my cup never empties and i have so fucking much to give give give to those who are parched. i will keep giving. and i will keep accepting that i'm only there when people want something. i will give to you, you can take from me, this is my purpose.

eating my fist

i wish i could feel important. like logically i know i'm important to some people. but it's like trauma has made me incapable of feeling it.

i wish i wasn't who i am. i hate being excitable because i always end up disappointed. think it may be time to just unplug for the rest of the year.

oh my god this day needs to end my thoughts are blinding. thank god fiance is getting me tt

just had a pretty heavy conversation and i feel like nothing is my own. nothing that i am is real. i was built from the foundation of my parents pushing me into things. and now i'm empty. and the only thing i loved, i feel so bitter towards. suffering is the ride of life and i can't ever fucking get off.

to feel dozens of hands gripping and grabbing my body would be what feeling needed is like, i can't accept anything less

maturing is no longer wanting to eat the dog's food.

intrusive thoughts............

sometimes i feel like i'm being watched. like the earth is a snow globe for giants and im not real

if i had a dollar for everytime someone said my face didn't match my body bruh elon musk would be a funny lil footnote on my epic ass

i love my best friend :')