hey there, hi, i'm ready to die!

see ya!<3

No. No no no.

I want more "could you give me a freakin' minute" snarky crashout Ryland vs. "if you leave I will start Experiencing The Horrors but I'm also going to crashout if you go too near me" complicated Simon.

I want more Ryland being boisterous, who's really good at taking charge. The guy FLAUNTS being "Doctor-Captain Ryland Grace" to Stratt. He WENT FISHING in a PLANET'S ATMOSPHERE WHILE EVERYTHING WAS ON FIRE. HE GOT HIMSELF FIRED BECAUSE HE POPPED OFF AT THE MOUTH. HE HAS AN EGO. GIVE IT TO HIM.

I want more Simon, who had his ego beat the fuck out of him, and is actively learning to try and gain that back again, because he used to be a prick on Eden, and now he's scared he'll turn back into that monster if he lets his self control go. Scared something Bad Will Happen either to him or because of him. [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]

WHERE IS SOFTSPOKEN POLITE SIMON WITH A TERRIBLE PAST AND ROWDY VODKA-SLAMMING-IN-SUNGLASSES USED-TO-BE-A-PRICK GRACE WITH A SOMEWHAT NORMAL BACKGROUND ??? The background-not-matching-the-personality trope is RIGHT THERE guys.

I want more Simon who thinks Ryland is a delusional liar vs. Ryland who can clearly see the signs of psychosis in Simon, and he might just be right. (I love you, Losing Streak by AO3 user rosysoleil)

I want Simon who has been trained to body pain and yet still fucking cries like a bitch (because he was, and he does). Simon is NOT stoic. HE IS NOT. Simon's got a pokerface and it's terrible.

I want more meet-ugly Punch Your Lights Out While Squealing Like A Bitch Ryland Grace vs. K.O.'d By A Whimpy White Guy Simon, who's more apologetic about the incident than Ryland is.

LOOK AT RYLAND'S ARM. LOOK. DUDE HAS A SLEEPER BUILD. It might be an accident (or totally justified self-defense) but, as stated by @anne-jordan in this post, Ryland "It's been a while since I've taken pills from strangers" Grace would be swinging back.

I want more BITCH FOR BITCH Simon and Rocky who think arguing with each other is fun, because Simon's sense of humor involves being mean (being rowdy with the boys on Eden was common) and Rocky is so with it.

I want more "sexuality crisis" Ryland Grace who thought he was straight vs. "dude labels went out of style like 230 years ago" True Neutral Future-Man Simon. SIMON'S THE CHILL ONE. SIMON DON'T GAF

I want more "forced proximity doesn't mean we have to fuck" stories!!! Turn that trope on its head!!!

I want more sexually complicated/aromantic-but-sex-positive Simon that ISN'T because of his trauma!!! Maybe he's just Like That, and that's okay!

Also, hey guys, guess what? Simon can just be a straight dude. These can just be straight dudes. Best buds. Guys. Healthy male friendships. HEALTHY MALE FRIENDSHIPS. It doesn't have to be yaoi all the time.

Give me variation. Give me underused dynamics. Challenge fandom with your writing. I dare you. I DARE YOU.

Does anyone hear me. Is this mic on??

I like to think that the tree rapidly grew to an insane size after it exploded out and killed the eel. Its roots digging deep into the moon and its branches just cresting the atmosphere. It is absolutely visible form space on that small moon. The blood ocean is now the iron rich soil it feeds from.

Somewhere hidden within its core, is the man who cared for and carried the trees seed across the universe. And just as the seed had been so carefully protected and preserved in resin, it too now protects and preserves its human. Waiting for the chance to plant him in a place where he too can grow and flourish.

When an exploring Eridian ship investigates the strange moon, the crew collects samples of the ocean and clippings of the tree. They bring them back to Grace to study, hoping they might be beneficial for the humans biome.

Grace is of course excited to study another form of what must be alien life. So he’s equally confused and horrified when human dna is found within the blood-like substance and the tree clippings.

it was end of day - teachers stay late. kids have afterschool activities. Stratt and Carl are not familiar faces, which would have every adults head on a swivel who worked in a school. people would notice.

Avoids the faculty room like the plague

His classroom is NOT organized, there is shit everywhere - but he knows exactly where everything is

Goes out for lunch every day to eat his sad little sandwich on a bench in the sun

his prep is a lunch period so kids are ALWAYS in his room while hes trying to like grace and do other shit

Gets to work pretty early to prep for the day but leaves the moment the EOD bell rings which gets looks from other teachers

will speak up at faculty meetings - he never has a problem being an informative bitch at a faculty meeting and everyone loves and hates him for it

will always raise his hand to go on stage when they ask for teacher volunteers at an assembly

his do nows all have to do with relevant and contemporary research that he himself is interested in and keeps tabs on

he always 'forgets' to take attendance so he can have kids who need a break from sitting to bring it down to the office

his coworkers are convinced he's gay because he doesn't talk about his personal life and has no kids and teachers are gossip junkies

he only makes administrators who come in and have no idea how schools actually run use his Dr. title, everyone else can call him Mr.

He gets stuck with teaching health so he treats the human body and all that it does like its alien and the kids go nuts for it

I am practicing writing in the Edenic creole I made up. Here's some more bloodymary bickering!

Grace, getting frustrated: I seriously just don't understand what you're asking me. I know you hate doing the old accent thing, but we're sort of on a time crunch, man. Simon: ƿhæ… ƿhæ ȝu sæs all þat? Grace: What? I'm just asking you to clarify. Simon, imitating Grace's voice and over-enunciating every single consonant: Oh! 'I am ask-ing you to clar-i-fy!' Look'boðe, r'ȝu a book? Ȝu sæs 'I do not'? 'Could you please'? Grace: Are we still hung-up on this? Are we freakin' serious right now? Simon: Ængliš-old grave. Ȝu tælk like'n stone-man. ƿhæ n't ȝu jus' sæs 'Dock n't'? Heavy-burn, ȝu. Waste tick. Grace: Did you just call me a stone man? I am not a caveman! Simon: N't caveman, Grace. Older. Ȝu tælk like ȝu ƿear'n stupid big hat. Like ȝu ride'n horse-car. 'Ver-i-ly, sir!' Heavy-burn. jus' tell oi... ƿhæ's d'box? Grace, defeated: The… box? It's over there. Simon, clapping him sarcastically on the shoulder: Docked. Sæs less, horse-man.

And Grace just keeps trying to win but it never works out and he ends up making these scrunchy faces and squeaking when he's locked in a (very gentle) headlock or arm wrestle lock or whatever.

he is super strong with one arm bc of his mutations (he was already a combat beast with two arms, but he adapted to the one-armed lifestyle way quicker than anyone would've thought), they also make him handle the gravity on erid way better than grace and in theory he could probably survive erid's atmosphere (at least for a bit), but they never test that except if there was maybe a mishap or smth? he can also see in the dark, maybe has some sorta echolocation as well, cuz how the fuck could the eel see in the blood? idk, maybe echolocation tho?

just to reiterate, this is NOT canon to the comic. or to either movie probably lol.

just love the idea that the reason simon didn't listen to the written stuff was because it sucked to read (and not, like, either defiance or a purposeful disregard for the sake of survival)

This ship is ridiculous, 10/10 no notes