James shot her a sardonic look as she corrected his joke. This was what he was talking about with the goody-goody thing. Next, sheâll be correcting his grammar on a life or death patronus call. âI call it havinâ a wand up your arse, but I was trying not to be crass.âÂ
She took the cloak and commented on the fact that heâd actually done in his job and read through the plans as though it were surprising. It probably was, for her. James raised his brows. âUs adults call it reliable, Jones,â he repeated her words verbatim just to annoy the crap out of her, hoping it would succeed, before she dead-panned another insult.
Once again, it made him laugh. He liked her when she wasnât being such a stick-in-the-mud. This sort of bitchiness was rather hilarious, in his opinion - he could take a joke just as good as he could give it, after all. Even if Hestia probably wasnât really joking, it didnât actually matter. âLeast itâs got the word charm it in,â he pointed out with cheek to his tone before he turned to leave at her âcommand.â
He took a few steps before realizing that she, in fact, hadnât followed - nor had she put the cloak on like she was supposed to. He softened, feeling that old familiar pull come out. How many times had he been the one to show someone the ropes or take them on their first mission? Granted, it was usually someone new to the Order - often someone younger than him - but this was still Hestiaâs first mission and, because of her place within the organization, it was easy to forget that.
He turned back around and moved to stand in front of her. âListen,â he started and placed both his hands on either side of her shoulders, his wand pointing upwards so it wouldnât accidentally go off between the two of them. âI know this isnât your normal thing, but youâve got this. Youâve planned how many fucking missions, right? Itâs the same thing, just on the field. And Iâve been doing this for years. I know what Iâm doing in case things go titâs up.â
He paused, took in a breath, and said something he never thought heâd ever have to ask of Hestia Jones. âI just need you to trust me.â
Hestia glared openly at James when he parroted her words back at her. Sure, she might have just done exactly the same thing, but heâd called her an insulting name! Her parroting came from self-defense. His was because he was an annoying arsehole.
But, she didnât have much time to react to his final taunt (always had to get the last word in, didnât he,) before she realized he actually was walking away, and she actually was standing very still, no matter how much her mind screamed at her feet to move.
This was her worst case scenario beginning. Sheâd come here to get the experience, not to make him think she was as much of a coward as most already must.Â
There was a reason, beyond talent, that Hestia stayed off the field. Sheâd heard it said your truest self would be revealed in the face of danger, and she was unsure she could survive the shame if what was revealed was less than sheâd hoped. And, now, here she was, choking before the danger had even begun. Not a great outlook on events to come.
Perhaps she would have felt a bit better if she was paired with someone who would have been supportive instead of snarky, like Gideon or Alice. Potter was certainly hoping and praying for her to fall flat on her face, just so he could be the first in line to laugh. Heâd probably have some crass comment pre-prepared just for the occasion.
It took her a moment to realize James had turned around and come back. Her eyes had become fixated on the cloak, studying the iridescent fabric as though somewhere woven in between might be the secret to getting her legs to fucking move. But, once heâd placed his hands firmly on her shoulders, her head snapped up, released from its rumination, and she found herself, for the second time in less than a week, only an arms length away from James.
Hestia watched his eyes as he spoke rather than actually looking at them. Hers flitted back and forth between his, trying to take in what he was saying. When he paused, Hestia was shocked to find the first reaction that popped into her mind was to shove him.Â
The words heâd said were actually... kind? They were, right? She was slightly paranoid sheâd missed some hidden snark, some joke at her expense, but she hadnât heard any. It almost felt sincere. And, yet, all she wanted was to shake him off and push him away, like heâd seen something he wasnât supposed to, and calling attention to it was only made it worse. But, still, she was happy heâd said it. The dissonance confused her.
Images of their entry room fight (sort of fight?) suddenly came to her, of his shove, his face, his tears, perhaps his embarrassment, and Hestia thought she may have found at least one small piece of understanding. So, she thought she might shelve shoving him away, at least for now.
But, then, he asked her to trust her, and she wasnât so sure sheâd be able to un-shelve it any time soon. Theyâd spoken about this before, that this was what this was all really about, why she was here. To prove they could trust and to undo all the (occasionally literal) damage.
So, all thoughts of shoving were entirely shoved away.
She realized it had been quiet for some time, her only looking at him as she was lost in her thoughts, so she numbly nodded her head and spoke.
âYes, yeah, I can--I can do that. I doubt I could have dragged myself out here if I didnât already, so, yes.â
Sheâd said it rather awkwardly, but the situation was awkward, so perhaps it was fitting. In keeping with the theme, Hestia awkwardly stepped backward out of his grasp. She thought back through the plan, her safe space. Sheâd seen the layout. She knew what they were heading into. They were fine.
She spread out the cloak, preparing for launch.
âAll right, enough of that, Potter, save some soft-soap for the mediwix.â
She said it sarcastically, but there was a good-natured tone behind. She lifted the cloak, hesitated, and spoke one last time.
âWell, here goes the worst idea Iâve ever had.â
She finally placed the cloak over her head, indicating with her arm that he should go as she did.