Beautiful Pain [f.t Joshua]
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
Genre: Two scoops of angst and a few sprinkles of fluff
Words: Too many to count!
WARNING! Contains bullying, depressing af thoughts etc. Not edited.
You had always been that kid no one liked. Depressing would be a suitable word to describe your whole life as you were always picked on, teased and the center of all hate.
And what did you do to deserve all these shits that life had been throwing at you since the moment you opened your eyes to meet this dark world? And only to get your mother taken away from you before you could even call her ‘Mom’. What is the point of living when all you’d ever felt was pieces of you shattering down and thrown into the hole of Death?
But then he came. With his dazzling smile, a look was all it took to make you stop breathing as his eyes met yours. Before you became too embarrassed and looked away.
The darkest day of your week, every week.
You didn’t even fight back the kicks nor the punches thrown at you, ‘cause you honestly no longer cared.
The pain wrapped itself around the softness of your neck, making you cry for oxygen.
“What are you guys doing?”
His voice was like melted butter, the sympathy in his eyes was clearly visible as he looked down at you and then them.
“None of your goddamn business!” Areum, the pretty one yelled at him without lifting her gaze from your face before turning to the side just to gasp dramatically when she saw who it was. “J-Joshua- I-”
“Let’s go, Areum!” The taller girl hissed silently against the shorter one’s ear before they both stood up and left.
“Are you okay?” Silent. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. Since you obviously aren’t.”
A soft yet nervous chuckle left his lips before he took a step closer and bent down in order to take a closer look at your bruising face. “U-Uhm, I-I can take you to the school nurse if you want to.”
“I’ll be fine.” You mumbled silently, before heaving yourself up but not without the helping hands of his.
His hands on your arms tingled, causing you to draw your body away, creating a larger space between the two of you.
“Thank you.” You looked down at your own feet, not daring to meet his curious eyes.
“There’s no reason to thank me.” A small smile grew on his plump lips. “I didn’t do anything.”
Yes, you did, you just saved me.
After that day, you couldn’t seem to be able to shut out the curious gazes that were constantly thrown at you. Everywhere you went, he just seemed to always be there.
At one point, you wondered if it was all a coincidence or.. could he possibly had done this to protect you?
The bullying seemed to dramatically lessen for no reason at all. You were now treated as a wallflower instead.
And you had never felt so relieved.
Weeks passed by, and you felt… at peace.
No fear, no sadness longer filling your bruised heart, it felt like time was slowly healing the wounds they had left.
However, as smoothly as everything seemed to be, the flower boy seemed to have taken a sudden interest in you which made no sense in your head.
Why the hell would he? There were so many wrongs with you, so many missing pieces and so much damaged had been done.
You were one broken soul.
Yet, it didn’t seem to stop him from convincing you into giving it a try.
Flowers and chocolate, handwritten letters with his sincere words and feelings, his adorable attempts to capture your heart made you fall a little more for this strong headed guy with the heart of gold.
Dating Joshua meant everything you never dared to imagine, not even in your ildest dreams, his sweet yet passionate kisses, the way he gently caressed your lips with his own, his strong and warm hugs…
It was your own fairytale.
A fairytale that came to an end sooner than you wanted it too.
The most beautiful day of the week, every week.
A day you were meant to spend with him, just the two of you, watching movies at his dorm with his arms wrapped around you, loving kisses against the base of your neck.
With Joshua, taking a flight back to his hometown to visit his parents, you were left all on your own. And it was when it all happened.
You woke up alone in an unfamiliar room, with only your unmatched bra and panties covering your body and a headache that stopped you from remembering the previous events. And then the panic attack came, the possibility of you being used by some stranger clouded your thoughts, but then, you realized that beside the headache that you were currently suffering from and the lack of clothes, you were perfectly fine.
When you looked around for your missing clothes and then finally found them neatly folded on a desk at the corner of the bedroom.
As you walked closer towards it, you also noticed a piece of paper on top of the pile of clothes.
‘Nothing happened. Thank me later.”
It wasn’t until a few days after the accident that the pictures of you, basically naked, together with a guy you never talked to were spread like fire on social media. Not owning a phone definitely had its disadvantages as you didn’t understand what was going on until Jisoo walked up to you with his phone tightly clenched inside the palm of his hand.
“So this is what you’ve been doing when I’m away, huh?” His words held so much disappointment and hurt and so did his eyes that used to be clouded with so much love and affection for you.
“Jisoo-” You found it hard to breath, and for the first time in your life, you were desperate to explain yourself. To tell him that you were just as confused as him.
“Save it.” His eyes turned cold, his words icily cut their way deep into your heart. “I’m done listening to your sob stories. You disgust me.”
And things slowly went back to the way it was before Jisoo came into your life. Every Thursday-night was spent cleaning the bruises of their punches, biting down your lip until it started to bleed because of the pain.
You fell asleep with his name leaving your bleeding lips.
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