Ok, I got this

I wanted it to be Donna. I wanted so much for 10's journey not to conclude with the messiness of his relationships with Rose and Martha but the sure fire certainty of what he and Donna were.

But they could not be. Not without breaking the terribleness that was the way Donna had to go for something soft and inconsequential.

And stubbornly I went to see 10's end knowing it couldn't be what I wanted because she wasn't there but then *he* was.

Wilfred Mott.

The actual only perfect resolution to the end of David Tenants tenure.

I adored 10, I loved him so much and was so stubborn that I could never be ok with watching him go.

And then Bernard Cribbins supplied a performance where I felt ashamed for thinking that 10 could ever have gone any other way.

Of *course* he would go this way. Of course 10 would. Big things scaled down to tiny ones, 10s ego made small on the echo of Donna's best lesson.

"Save someone"

And 10 saved him. Angered and raged against the dying of the light but when all the big stuff was done it was a tiny detail that made 10 realise.

"Save someone."

And it would never have worked if not for the fact that for every single second Bernard Cribbins was on screen you felt his passion and need and want to have the world get bigger.

To embrace the unknown and instill that in his grand daughter.

To want to see the stars.

Wilfred Mott is, to me, the thing I love the most about Doctor Who. Not special, not somehow magical, and yet still just damn well *mattering*.

Donna became supreme but her grandfather never did. And yet he was the thing, the one who made the Doctor let go of his own hubris and accept that what he can do with a consequence is the thing he *ought* to do when denying it makes the consequence harder.

I'm really sad Bernard Cribbins has passed because he was the reason the Doctor became solid again, Wilfred Mott was the reminder the Doctor sorely needed and he did it so well

Jack's boat is a comfort in my mind. It reminds me of when my children were young and overjoyed to watch him on the screen and excited to see his face.

But doctor who is where I hold him dear to me, just me, and I'm so so sad he's gone away.

You were the grandad a lot of who fans wanted and never had, so thank you.

Ok so just the other day I watched the Goonies and I was left with a deep, ingrained unhappiness about how asthma is portrayed. About how it is a nerdy disease people suffer only because they are nerds, and if they could just stop being so they would be cured.

I looked it up. 3,500 people die from asthma each year. Three and a half thousand people suffocate to death each year, spending their last moments terrified and broken.

Allergies and asthma are for nerds and people who are not strong.

But it also kills quickly. So quickly.

It steps into a regular day and flips it the other way around and suddenly all your years and all your days mean nothing because the next 5 minutes are going to kill you.

You are going to die because of your nerd disease.

And I am so angry. I am so pissed off that any of you ever took a moment to think haha lethal disease means you're a geek or nerd who needs to suck on their inhaler to live.

When you have asthma, in the UK, it takes 3 fucking days of foresight to acquire medication that without you will die in literal minutes.

Asthma isn't funny. It's literally people suffocating to death.

It's fast and harmful and devastating, and fuck whoever chose to ascribe the trait to people who need to overcome it over people who deserve to live.

I'm 36 years old and was born with asthma. I've been put on life support, put in comas to stop this thing from killing me.

I'm gonna die to complications from it one day because I might get the wrong kind of sick and suddenly my asthma will win.

Asthma comes in many forms. There's a form where it's an inconveince that makes the sufferer wheeze and that's the most common type and it isn't so scary.

Some of us have to factor our condition into everything we do. When I empty my vacuum, I take my inhaler and do it as the last adult chore of my day because I know I'll be short of breath for hours afterwards. I cannot *empty my damn vacuum* without considering how it will affect me.

Covid is so much worse when your lungs are already against you and I'm just...

Tired. I'm tired of the fact that if I have a low inhaler and it's a special holiday that means the chemist isn't open I need to just... die I guess?

And ultimately, heres a thing, the thing, I really want to say.

If you're asthmatic, if you're diabetic, if you have a severe allergy.

- you need help now.

- *now*

- and you're not a problem because you don't want to die in the next ten minutes.

Ventolin, insulin and epipens should not only be free but readily available.

Big pharmer, please stop putting hours of barriers between people whose conditions will kill them in minutes and the medication that saves them.

Spent the morning watching the Crawl Me Maybe adventure, and later hopped on Apex to get randomly squaded with a Lifeline called Corazons Wife.

And we won.