Rowan

I made this account when i was like, 14? at the oldest, entirely possible it was sooner than that (i dont remember). at the time i was FRESH into the understanding that i was A. not straight and B. not cis

i straight up yearned for soooo much and tumblr was a huge help for me to go through all of that. I was a very broke kid in a broke family and didn’t get to do much except for two big things that i think changed how i am unironically. I saw fall out boy live for my first concert (SRAR era) and i got VIP tickets to TATINOF as a surprise for my birthday.

i had /just/ uploaded a video to my LPS youtube channel saying i was done making videos and soon after i gave away all my LPS to a friend because i felt it was cringe that i liked them still both because of a technical “femininity” of liking toys, and because i was convinced i was too old to like them still.

skam was my favorite show for a while. something about the way it represented Isak and Even really stood out to me and my experiences and it made me want to learn norwegian, which tbh i wasn’t very good at i did like one duolingo lesson every whenever the hell

twenty one pilots’ music helped me so much at the time. I have a specific memory of laying in the living room on a bare mattress the first night we moved into the house at the time, and setting up my laptop to play my (unfortunately) pirated copy of the self titled album so i could sleep.

Now, i am 22, i have gone to plenty more concerts, two warped tours, i’ve become comfortable in my gender identity and my sexuality, i am learning norwegian again! except this time with actual worksheets and voice lessons. i am collecting LPS again! idk how many i have rn but i have a little display shelf for them and i am very happy about it and uploaded another video to the channel to say fuck cringe i still like lps (idk if anyone saw the video but i still had like 600 subs and i thought it’d be funny to find people who don’t clean out their subs). i am still broke tbf but i had the amazing opportunity to get twenty one pilots tickets for this breach leg of the tour and i am so glad i get to be there for the end.

my point is just that it’s insane to me that i’ve changed very little since making this blog but at the same time soooo so much.

that said, my name listed and the name i currently go by are different but honestly i’m looking for a new name anyway lol. but for now i will point out i use he/him, i am comfortably bi and don’t feel like it’s performative that i’ve only dated a couple girls because i understand it’s not my history that matters it’s my feelings that matter. i’m currently just over 4 years with my partner and we’ve lived together for 3 of those years and i’m, in the big picture, so so happy now.