Stuck Between Realities

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Reblog if u love sweet cute puppies 🐶

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Mzilikazi wa Afrika‏@IamMzilikazi

I call this set… “Noir Princesses”.

Essentially, aftercare is what a submissive requires to feel safe, appreciated, and comforted after undergoing an intense scene.

BDSM escalates endorphins and sexual arousal, launching you into an altered mental state comparable to being intoxicated or drug-induced. This reaction is often referred to as “subspace,” and for BDSM practitioners, aftercare is vital in calming down the nerves and bringing a submissive back to reality. A compassionate Dominant understands that the sub’s sexual boundaries may have been pushed and that the submissive will need to rejuvenate and recuperate post-coitus.

The same show of appreciation following any sexual practice — even in the most vanilla of situations — should be administered. Sex, no matter the intensity, can elicit a wide array of emotions, from pleasurable and cathartic to downright draining. A little TLC can go a long way in reducing and soothing the overwhelming nature of sex. And while aftercare might seem like a ritual for couples in a committed relationship, even one-night-stands deserve some token of gratitude. Sex (at least good sex) comes with feelings and passion and you can’t soar to new heights without a soft, cushiony landing in place.

Aftercare doesn’t just cultivate a greater sense of intimacy, but also makes you a more compassionate and generous lover overall — a trait that will make you a better partner and bring you even more satisfying sexual experiences.

Acting ashamed or aloof, leaving suddenly and quickly, or walking away without any acknowledgment that you two copulated is the complete opposite of aftercare.

Treating the affair (and the person) with utter disregard not only comes across as selfish and cowardly but can perpetuate insecurities and sour an otherwise exciting and pleasant experience.

There is no reason sex should ever be followed by a “walk of shame.”

It is best to discuss your preferred form of aftercare with you partner:

Cuddling or spooning your partner.

Massaging his or her body using essential oils.

Holding and consoling the other person as they cry and release their emotions.

Taking a shower together and washing their body and/or hair.

Attending to any injuries that might arise from sadomasochistic play.

Adhering to their temperature needs such as wrapping the other person in a warm blanket or turning on a fan.

Creating a calming atmosphere with scented candles or tranquil music.

Making your partner a plate of food or offering a beverage.