I’d like to know what the first person to put human clothing on a dog was thinking
like were dogs even dogs yet or did someone manage to squeeze a particularly patient tamed wolf into a leather shirt and then howl with laughter as it trotted around the cooking fires dressed like Uncle Urg begging for food scraps
the wolf started running backwards in circles trying to get out of Uncle Urg’s shirt and everyone is laughing so hard that the sleeping children and young mothers and old folk wake and come out of their hide huts and observe First Funny Dog galloping around in the moonlight, and a tradition is born
There was a brief but decisive evolutionary bottleneck of canines that begrudgingly allowed homo-chimps to live after sticking them in a corset.
“Will you flush game for me, Wolf, when I go hunting the wild things beneath the trees?” asked Human.
“I will,” said Wolf, “If only you leave me the bones and scraps of meat from your kills.”
“That is well,” said Human. “And will you use your ears and eyes and nose to guard me while I rest, and warn me when lions prowl too near?”
“I will,” said Wolf, “If only you let me lie in the warmth of your cooking-fires.”
“But of course,” said Human. “And will you do as I command, and follow me wherever I go, and love my children and grandchildren as you would love your own?”
“I will,” said Wolf, “If only you scratch me where my claws cannot reach, and pet me, and heal my injuries when I am wounded.”
“Always,” said Human. “And will you let me dress you up in funny clothes, and dance around, and do little tricks for me to laugh at?”
Wolf hesitated, and eyed Human warily for some time, weighing its choices. “That depends,” it said. “Will you tell me I’m a good boy?”
Human smiled. “The goodest boy,” it said.
Dog wagged its tail, and Wolf was no more.
