Today I was cleaning out my drawers and found the shorts and shirts I tucked away this time last year for the nearly non stop work we were doing on the teardrop camper. Teardropā¦funny how thatās what these expoxy and paint stains look like and how many Iāve shed in the past 8 months. I hate hate hate that this part of my life and our life is over. This loss consumes me.
Iām trying to move on and I am most of the time but not having you next to me is so hard. Iām trying to buy a house and I see you in every decision I need to make. What would you want? How would you fix this? Is it worth this price for the repairs needed? How can we make this work? I see you in every other decision too and life shift. I wish I could tell you about the ICU and how hard it is and how much I need you to tell me Iāve got this. I want to be at your Aunts funeral next week because I know youāre going to be so sad.
Are you gone from my life forever? Will I regret this moment? If you fix all the thingsā¦if you get your shit together and someone else benefitsā¦I swearā¦fuck.
There is no where else to say these things and our friends are over hearing about it. I just love you and this is the worst. I hope the camper is looking good and is comfortable. I hate we never got to have many adventures in it.
























