Trying really hard

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

i said that the government was a bunch of dick heads and we should all just set the white house on fire and kept calling students who tried to defend the government “dick heads in training”

brought 6 whole pizzas in their boxes to class and was blocking the view of students

I kept sneezing during a lecture

Got really mad at some guy who wouldnt shut the hell up behind me and was flirting with some girl so i told him to shut the fuck up and she doesnt want to suck your dick and to take his frat boy ass and move.

Was signing dirty words and funny shit to my deaf friend and making him laugh. But because he’s deaf he didnt realize how loud he was being. so we both got asked to leave

poured water on some kids test after i was done with mine because i saw him copying off me the whole time.

Kept cussing too much during a socratic seminar about censorship to prove a point. and when they got mad at me i said “You trying to censor my words?”

made toast

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

birthday january: nut february: dong march: giraffe april: gogu may: anime june: jokes july: aaaaaaaaa august: police september: shit october: kinkshame november: kawaii december: fuck

first letter of first name a-c: smoker d-f: fucker g-i: succ j-m: puncher n-q: shamer r-u: phobe v: ender wxyz: eater