kick names. take ass.

My pussy is fat my heart is fatter got a tiny brain made of snickerdoodle batter

now if lady macbeth knew about pegging, i don’t think that there would have been nearly as much murder in that play

I have a music degree and taught for over a decade. You can say BPM or tempo it’s basically all the same. Don’t let the classical music snobs get you down

Oh no, I made a post voicing a pet peeve of mine and suddenly I’m a “classical music snob” even though I’ve been playing baroque flute for over a decade professionally…

Yeah I mean… Well there it is

i just need a couple hickies and a couple tats in 2019 thanks

life hack: u dont have to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon

not even in a sexual way but i’m just craving affection because i feel like crap i just want someone to hug me for a couple of hours and tell me i’m going to be okay 

Maybe dogs lick us so much because they know there’s bones beneath our skin

This is the worst one by far, thanks

Me as a college professor

how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour