* LAST BLUES !!

You didn’t tell by Abby S (via fireandsteelofangels)

            HANA.  /  HARUKA.  /  RIKU.  /  AKANE.

“ that was mean. ”

for layla. 

instagram / twitter / weibo

“fool me once, shame on you. fool me sixteen times, maybe i have poor pattern recognition skills.” “to be fair, eating ass is way more fun than church.” “First you eat ass, then you suck a dick, then you sell drugs. sure the list starts off just about as any list can begin but by the end you own your own small business.” “having to wear dresses because your balls are too big for your pants. that’s the manliest thing i’ve heard all day.” “why do you think the irish and scots wear kilts?” “buy him a pack of crayons as a snack to keep him distracted.” “i prefer orange, for the flavor.” “i prefer purple. it reminds me of the nectar that is ‘grape drank’ we’d get in the field.” “ingredients: water, sugar, purple.” “that’s how i figured out santa must’ve been sleeping with my mom.” “are you sure they’re your best friends if you aren’t involved with any of this?” “yeah, if they were really your best friends, they would’ve included you.” “in eighth grade, i promised to beat someone over the head with a shoe if they broke a promise. i fulfilled my promise in the middle of the lunch line. still one of my favorite memories.” “you have never been on the receiving end of a three shoe beating, have you dear ed-boy?” “a buddy of mine got sent to jail and completely lost his shit as soon as he got there. 30 seconds in, he punched another guy, that guy went down and a huge fight broke out. there was a lot of blood, a lot of swearing, and the whole time my buddy was just swinging wildly and shouting absolute nonsense. we don’t play monopoly together anymore.” “Oh man. My takeaway was ‘of course you don’t play monopoly with him anymore, how’re you gonna do that when the guy is in prison?’” “I’M NAILS IN MY EYES JOHNSON HERE AT NAILS IN MY EYES JOHNSON’S STRIP CLUB.” “I CAN’T REALLY TELL, ON ACCOUNT OF ALL THE NAILS IN MY EYES.” “why doesn’t Ice-T sound like ruPaul, that sounds like a perfect world.” “we’ve all seen hannah montana, we know exactly what this means.” “not all heroes wear capes – some wear pajama pants.” “i spent a ton of my boss’ money, ran up his credit cards, drank his beer, ate his food, and even slept with his wife. he knows about all of it, and isn’t even pissed. full disclosure? i’m self-employed.” “Early in the morning, I received a better job offer via phone. I came back in to my manager looking very relieved. He told me the person who previously held my position went on a lunch break and never came back. as soon as he said that, i knew my destiny. i took my lunch later that day, and vanished.” “Now that manager is convinced someone is kidnapping his employees.” “you sent him for drug testing, he tested drugs, and passed! you fired him? this is obviously a misunderstanding.” “was playing uno. i yell out uno. he said draw four bitch. fuck him, who needs friends anyway.” “my friend is epileptic. one time after a seizure, i asked if she knew me. she looked up at me and eventually said 'mom?’ in a very uncertain tone. i’m a little younger than her and i have a beard.” “EMT girl points to me and says 'do you recognize him?’ my uncle gives me the most dumbfounded look i’ve ever seen in my life and goes 'who the fuck are you?!’.” “sounds like the plot of nearly ever scooby doo episode.” [txt] IT WAS JIMBO, THE MAINTENANCE MAN!!! [txt] It’s Louisiana. His name is Jimbeaux. “if he didn’t douse himself with gas and light himself on fire, he was definitely planning on murdering your entire family.” “he was doing a test run on himself.” “(name) was never the brightest… well, i take that back.” “when i was in eighth grade, a seventh grade girl stabbed this guy in the foreign language area.” “is that between the kidneys?”