crown / REIGN

WELCOME TO HEAVYPRICE  -----   an indie multimuse rp blog for the cw’s REIGN characters.      written by HOPE !         24 / she-her / cst.         below  are  some  important  links  !   

@heavyprice​ : ❝ i didn’t know i’d love you so much . ❞ Lola 👀

it is a dangerous thing to confess, and mary can’t stop the way her heart-rate increases at the mere words. when she was younger, she had been schooled in all manner of important subjects to prepare her for court life, but she had never been prepared for this. had never anticipated that one day, this pretty, passionate young woman would tell her such a thing. whatever she would have been taught, she’s certain her heart would have been unable to comply, for pale cheeks flush almost instantly and the ache in her chest does not disappear - a strange sort of longing for a life they could never possibly have. 

❛ i feel the same about you, ❜ she murmurs eventually, each word slow and cautious. they both know that they are walking a very fine line, and one mis-step could spell disaster for them ( more so for lola, but mary will be damned before she lets her friend take that fall ). ❛ i find that i have come to care for you very deeply. perhaps more than i ought to. ❜

ITS  A  MESSY  BUSINESS  ,  being  in  love  with  a  queen.       even  messier  still  when  you’re  a  woman  ,  unable  to  really  be  with  the  woman  you  desire.         she  has  no  chance  with  mary  -----   they’d  have  her  head.     &&  yet  ,  how  much  longer  could  she  bear  seeing  francis  &  sebastian  fawn  over  mary  without  feeling  like  her  heart  was  being  stripped  bare  for  the  world  to  see?       

THE  THING  IS  --------  mary  loves  her  ,  too.        mary  knows  the  hidden  meaning  behind  her  words.        knows  she’s  not  speaking  as  a  friend.        here  ,  in  the  privacy  of  mary’s  personal  quarters  ,  lola  isn’t  afraid  of  what  those  words  mean.           she’s  bold  enough  to  step  over  to  the  queen  ,   fingers  trembling  as  she  reaches  &  touches  her  cheek.            ❛    MARY  . . .    ❜

&&  then  she’s  doing  the  unthinkable  ------  she’s  leaned  over  &  stolen  mary’s  lips  in  a  kiss  so  unlike  the  practice  ones  from  their  youth.        this  one  bleeds  with  the  longing  she’s  held  secretly  all  this  time.      the  pain  of  knowing  this  can  never  be.         the  love  she  cannot  contain.           it’s  wrong  ---  she’s  going  to  regret  this.        mary  may  hate  her.          how  dare  she  put  her  feelings  above  her  duty  as  mary’s  lady.             but  still-----------   

❛ i am no good luck charm - those who spend time around me should be watching their backs, for being close to a queen no doubt puts a target upon them. ❜ it is an unfortunate truth, and yet one that she has been forced to accept over her time at court. even while she was staying at the convent she had been given people to die for her if necessary : images of the poisoned food are imprinted behind her eyes. she can hear the sounds of the dying whenever she sleeps. it is, as most things are in court, exhausting. ❛ though i’m sure you know that better than most.❜

she shouldn’t. there is no world in which it would be considered proper for her to ride with him - and yet mary cannot help but perk up at the idea of it. it is only one short ride, and if he keeps her from falling then nobody could begrudge them that.❛ that sounds ideal. i suppose it would serve to help me : having a reliable rider like you to prevent me from any accidents. ❜ it surely wouldn’t impress the royal family if she were to show up to the next gathering covered head-to-toe in bruises and mud, after all.❛ shall we go, then? some time away from the castle walls will do the both of us good, i am sure.❜

HE  WON’T  SHOW  HIS  EXCITEMENT  ----  but  he’s  not  upset  about  getting  to  enjoy  some  time  so  close  to  her.           he  knows  she’s  not  like  the  girls  at  the  taverns  in  town  ;  he  cannot  treat  her  as  such.          SHE’S  A  QUEEN   ----  he’s  a  bastard.        there  could  never  be  anything  here.         this  was  nothing  more  than  a  friendly  outing.        HE  HAD  TO  BE  ON  HIS  BEST  BEHAVIOR.        lord  knows  catherine  would  love  a  reason  to  get  rid  of  them  both. 

despite having been parted for so long, there is nothing unfamiliar about lola. though mary does her best to provide comfort and companionship to all of her ladies, there has always been something so unbelievably special about her connection with lola - something more. something that, even years later, she cannot quite puzzle out. there are fragmented memories that remain with her : memories of days spent giggling in the courtyard, of evenings spent curled up on the window seat of mary’s chambers, of moments in which she had leaned across and kissed lola. to practice, they had said. it does not seem much like practice now. 

❛ sending you home wasn’t ever an option. not for one moment. lola, you are my friend - speaking your mind is a right that i will always give you. ❜ mary may not know grief intimately ( she had grown up being told not to concern herself with such emotions - a queen was to be a force of nature, not easily toppled by human feelings ), the closest she had come to it had been the day she had been forced to leave french court. the day she had left her life behind to hide as someone else. ❛ you will find a respectable husband if you choose to, i am sure. our futures lie in this court. ❜ hers with francis, and lola’s with someone else ; that was how it was to be. the comment, however, brings a soft smile to her cheeks - fond and bright. ❛ it was a gift from one of the courtiers. no doubt they are attempting to get on my good side before i become queen here. ❜

SHE  SHOULD  TELL  HERSELF  MORE  OFTEN  that  her  feelings  towards  her  queen  were  nothing  more  than  adoration  for  a  friend.            that  nothing  ever  stood  a  chance  of  happening  --------------   &&  yet  ,  things  had  happened.           every  time  mary  even  says  the  word  FRIEND  something  inside  of  the  lady  in  waiting  flenched  ;  almost  as  if  a  lover  had  rejected  her.           it  won’t  show  on  the  outside  ---  lola’s  quite  good  at  keeping  up  appearances  when  it  comes  to  her  emotions.       (  save  her  rightful  outburst  about  colin  ,  of  course.  )    

he makes her blush, and that alone is one reason she feels compelled to spend time with him. mary knows that this cannot lead anywhere - she will not stand to make the same mistakes her husband had - but that does not mean she won’t enjoy his company while it lasts. ❛ you’re cheeky, aren’t you? ❜ it isn’t an admonishment ; not at all. a little flattery is exactly what she needs these days - a reminder that she still has some sort of effect on those around her. a moment, and then she moves to situate herself next to him, draws her travelling cloak around her shoulders. ❛ you think so highly of me. i’m flattered, truly. ❜

it was a day they had both dreaded. in truth, mary does not want to leave : not for anything. but it is not her choice - her life has never truly been her own. she was, in many ways, scotland itself, and to protect her own life was to preserve the heart of the nation. even her closest friends had to understand such a concept ; it doesn’t make it hurt any less. ❛ i don’t see how it is possible for me to like it at the convent when you aren’t there. ❜ it’s a little too honest, verges on something mary cannot quite understand, and yet it remains the inexplicable truth. a moment of silence, and mary reaches up, catches lola’s wrist in her hand, brows drawn together. ❛ ever since we left scotland, i have always been able to count on you and the others. i do not know who i am without you. ❜

for they are young - too young to truly understand the weight of their positions, of the titles and burdens they will carry. all mary knows is that these girls have become her friends - her home. to leave them behind seemed almost impossible. inconceivable. ❛ of course i will write. i’ll write to you every day if permitted. ❜ she could demand it, but… in truth, mary wasn’t entirely sure that the convent had the ability to send so many letters. ❛ i will miss you. every moment i’m awake, i will miss you. ❜

AS  HER  WRIST  IS  CAPTURED  ,  she  can  feel  her  heart  thud  in  her  chest.            it’s  so  similar  to  the  flutter  created  when  colin  smiles  at  her  ------  but  this  ?           it  was  stronger.         she  swallows  the  little  lump  in  her  throat  &  tries  to  put  on  a  brave  smile  as  she  gently  moves  the  other’s  grasp  to  instead  allow  her  to  lace  their  fingers  together.             ❛     every  moment  . . . ?     ❜

did  friends  think  of  each  other  that  much    ?          she  didn’t  think  of  greer  or  aylee  or  kenna  every  moment  of  every  day.          but  the  way  she  thinks  of  mary  isn’t  the  same.           the  idea  of  being  away  from  this  girl  felt  . . .   like  she  might  stop  breathing.          as  the  reality  of  the  situation  settles  on  her  ,  she  finds  herself  curling  closer  to  mary  there  on  that  bed.           ❛   i  wish  i  could  come  with  you  . . .    then  we  wouldn’t  have  to  miss  each  other.     ❜              would  she  give  up  her  family  &  colin  to  stay  at  mary’s  side  ?         IN  A  HEARTBEAT.              

her words are to serve as a reminder to herself as well : she cannot afford to get too attached to him. not when she is engaged to his brother, an engagement that has been all but set in stone since her earliest years. ❛ no, i suppose i won’t. the only saving grace happens to be the knowledge that at least here i will have some degree of control. there are many worse countries to marry into - there have been tales of cruel kings, and i am simply grateful that such will not be my fate. ❜ if she was decreed to marry someone else, she would have to. but here, mary knows how things work ; knows she is afforded certain freedoms of mind that she would not be granted were she to live anywhere else, in any other court. his offer gives her pause, and then she’s glancing up at him, smile bright. ❛ of course - you may have to be somewhat patient with me. we didn’t get to ride in the convent often. ❜ she didn’t, anyway.

❛ certainly not : queens do not ask questions they do not desire to have answered. ❜ a lie, really, for mary had encountered many such questions since her return to french court. but she was determined to be a different kind of queen : one who relies on the good in human nature, and the firm fairness of a ruler. his comment has her offering a faint smile as she continues the trek upwards. ❛ it will be, yes. i should hope that this sunrise will be able to replace any unsavoury memories of the others you have witnessed. ❜

a hum ; light and absentminded in a way that she can only permit herself to be when in the company of one of her dearest friends. despite lola’s appreciation, mary cannot help but feel as though she is incapable of being the kind of friend that lola deserves : a loyal, dependable, free person capable of putting their friends first. but that has never been mary - it will never be her.❛ i wish i could do more - for you and for the others. being your friend and being a queen is a delicate balance : i must always put scotland first. ❜ it is difficult to remember as much sometimes, especially so when lola is close, her head upon mary’s collarbone, her arms around the queen’s waist. they are true friends - have been since they were children. it is only natural that they have a close bond, isn’t it? ( and if her heart beats a little faster with the proximity, mary opts to ignore it ). ❛ if i were anyone else, things would not be so difficult. ❜

the apology isn’t one that mary needs to hear : she has long since forgiven the offence. it had been a devastating turn of events, and one that nobody but colin could be blamed for. ❛ you were heartbroken and in a place that is relatively new to all of us. there is no need to apologise : i understand your reaction wholeheartedly. ❜ a tiny sigh, and mary allows herself to relax just a little against the other, a hand slips around lola’s waist to hold her close - any amount of comfort she can offer will suffice. ❛ i only wish i could have helped out. found some way to save him and spare you the grief. ❜

IT’S  DISTRACTING  ---------  the  quicker  thrum  of  mary’s  heart  there  beneath  the  lady’s  ear.        what  did  that  mean  ?          was  she  anxious  ?            WHY  ?              she  swallows  the  little  lump  thats  formed  in  her  throat  &  tries  her  best  to  not  overthink  her  heart  rate.          (  even  if  it  does  trigger  a  memory  of  the  girls  heart  racing  so  similarly   before  when  they  were  younger  ,  curled  up  &  practicing  their  best  kisses  for  the  boys  of  the  future  . . .   )  

a smile graces fair cheeks ; he is able to incite both amusement and consideration at the same time - an impressive feat.❛ if francis is trapped here, then i must be too - by duty, rather than desire. ❜ court life is tiring in almost every way, and mary has been taught as much since she was very young. despite her years spent away, it is a lesson that she has never forgotten : it had, apparently, been a good choice. ❛ when you are never afforded the degree of freedom that you happen to be used to, it isn’t something you think to miss. ❜ not a day has passed where she has been able to be entirely on her own - not even in the convent. still, his flattery is received with grace.❛ yet. i suppose it is fitting that we meet if we are to be family in the future. ❜

❛ of course - if it weren’t for you and the others, i doubt i would have lasted two days back at court. the nobles would simply have bored me to death. ❜ the statement is blunt, yet mary sees little reason to speak based upon appearances. it is only them in this room ; this moment will be entirely theirs, and she knows she can speak candidly with lola. hopefully that trust is something that is to last. only once her friend speaks does mary stop ; realisation that she may have been insensitive sets in. ❛ lola… please know that i am truly sorry for the way things have gone. if there is anything i can do to assist you in settling in here, let me know as soon as is convenient. ❜ it is a difficult position she is in : trying to balance being a friend and a queen. but mary will accomplish it - she always has. a hand comes up to rest upon lola’s arm, the slightest hint of reassurance. ❛ you and the others are all i have here. i may not be with you physically at all times, but know that i will always be with you as your friend. ❜

HER  HAND  QUICKLY  COMES  UP  TO  COVER  MARY’S    ,          fingers  light  against  pale  skin.                teeth  claim  the  corner  of  her  lower  lip  before  she  offers  a  faint  smile  ,  voice  coming  out  soft  &  quiet.          ❛    you’ve  always  been  there  for  me  ,  mary  . . .       when  you  could  be .        ‘suppose  that’s  the  trouble  with  balancing  friendship  &  queendom  . . .     ❜           she  shakes  her  head  &  sighs  before  stepping  over  &  resting  her  head  on  mary’s  collarbone  ,  her  arms  encircling  the  queens  midsection.           around  the  others  ,  she  wouldn’t  dare  be  quite  so  affectionate  with  mary  ------  but  in  private  ?           it  was  just  a  friendly  hug  ,  after  all.          (  though  ,  with  the  way  lola  finds  herself  momentarily  winded  by  just  how  sweet  mary  smelled  ,  it  might  not  seem  so  friendly.    )    

❛ … of course ; you’re right. ❜ she had never been good at blending into the shadows. crowned on her sixth day of living, mary knew little else but the spotlight - found herself constantly tailed by guards or social climbers or both, depending on the day. a part of her envies him for it : for the freedom that she knows she will never have. ❛ kind is one way to put it ; i’m quite certain queen catherine - and your brother - would think it naive of me to care for those who are not of my immediate concern. ❜ a belief that she did not share. mary may have been a queen in her own right, but she was also a girl. a girl who would love, and lose, and live despite all of it. no queen or king or prince would ever cost her the strength locked within her soul : she is sure of that, if not anything else. ❛ if you find court to be boring, then why do you stay? surely you could leave at any point? or does the king request of you to remain? ❜

the princess nodded at his appreciation of her keeping his secret. sure if others knew they certainly weren’t telling the more important crazy ones. the ones who’d actually try to hurt him. “well, i’m sure you know there’s several reasons for that. one of them being your chosen religion and other being just who you are. i don’t think i need to name more though,” she shrugged.

MARY  STUART 

brows raise, though she isn’t exactly sceptical. more amused, in her own way. ❛ is that you admitting that you were looking for me? i wasn’t aware my absence had been noted. ❜ a silly excuse, really : mary was a queen, engaged to the future king of france. of course there would be people watching her every move. watching for any signs of weakness, for any signs that the scottish alliance with france was not as steady as they would like it to be. ❛ but i have to disagree. i would look for you. i’m sure francis would too, and your father. ❜ catherine certainly wouldn’t, but to say such a thing would be cruel. a sheepish smile. ❛ i just needed out for a while. all this talk of alliances and arrangements and nobles is… i didn’t grow up in court. i suppose you could say it’s quite a change from what i’m used to. ❜

a gentle smile upon curved lips ; mary has been taught to be the picture of grace, a force of nature untouched by any and all events. lola’s late visit hardly shocked her ; besides, they were friends before they were members of the same court sent to negotiate and carry through a long-standing alliance. ❛ please, lola, you needn’t apologise to me. you know i always consider you to be a delight. ❜ she has been blessed, to have somebody she can trust wholeheartedly. people like that were to become invaluable to her as soon as she rose to rule france as well as scotland. ❛ i —-  ❜ hadn’t been doing much of anything, in truth. recent events ( coupled with their return to french court ) had left her tired. ❛ i was thinking, i suppose. the last few days have been a challenge for us all : have you been settling back into court well?  ❜