I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY

“no, no. this is really good. you have to trust me.”

“Just to double check, you’re asking me that when your wife is pregnant? Natasha? Pregnant?”

“I think we need to be worried about a lot of things after this Pleasant Hill fiasco. It’s a shame AIM didn’t step in sooner.”

“Considering my dad is back from the dead, yes. I’d say we should be worried.”

“I dunno, but if my dad turns into a woman again I will never forgive S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“I think Natasha kinda answers that question. Copies aren’t our only worry here.”

Carefully putting her toothbrush in its holder, Natasha screwed the lid back on  the toothpaste  and laid it flat. It was easier to make sure the spotless white sink was devoid of any residue, that she pulled her hair out of  the hair tie it was falling out of and tied it back tighter, random braids joining strands together. “C’mon,” Natasha gestured with her head towards the bedroom. She needed out of  the bathroom. The vomit was gone but she could swear she still smelled it. Sitting on the bed, the redhead flattened her palms on her pants.

“I haven’t felt well since Pleasant Hill,” she started. “I know Maria sent out the dossier about side effects for people who were in there awhile. About how it could change us. Yelena’s…” Natasha pursed her lips. “She’s different. But she’s not the only one. I figured it had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place. Seemed like we were layering up on the reality thing.” The words were coupled with a sad smile, Natasha’s death and resurrection hanging heavily in her mind.

“I went to a S.H.I.EL.D. doctor. Didn’t like what they had to say. Ours either. I even used an alias at a clinic in Queens. All the same.” There was an ultrasound that could have explained it, but Natasha had refused to take them. She didn’t want to taint Steve’s first look at whatever this was with a folded up picture.

“I had a hysterectomy. Which, you know. No reproductive organs.” Yelena would explain it in a way that was far more crass. “No kids. You knew that when you married me. I knew what I could and couldn’t do in this relationship.” Her lips twisted. “Turns out that ever since Pleasant Hill, I’ve had a uterus. Now it’s full.” 

he watched her move, waiting with practically baited breath for an answer. she led him back into the room and he listened to every word, more convinced than before the last that she was building to something terrible. then she brought up the hysterectomy. they didn’t speak of it much, and he’d long since accepted it. steve loved her whether that included kids or not. and there was no sense dwelling on something neither of them could change. they had james now, anyway. 

To the best of her memory, Natasha had never been sick. Maybe some light sniffles here and there but that was the extent of it. No flus, no strep. Throwing up once might have been some  freak occurrence. Twice, a little more odd. This? This was weeks. Weeks of nausea and it was the first time she had been caught. That was mostly due to the fact that the waves came sporadically. Training. Looking over mission debriefs. She had seen a doctor, of course, but that didn’t mean she was ready to talk about it. Because it was impossible. More impossible than gods or flying hammers. Uteruses didn’t regrow. It was one and done.

Pulling away from the toilet, Natasha maneuvered a few braids away from her face as she moved to the sink and grabbed her toothbrush. The vile spun down the toilet bowl as it was flushed away, the Widow brushing for a moment and leaving Steve’s answer hanging between them.

“I already saw a doctor. You have anything  planned this morning? We need to talk.”

maybe he was an anxious person, but when life tended to blow up just about every ten seconds, the words ‘we need to talk’ weren’t exactly comforting. steve pushed the door the rest of the way open and crossed his arms, leaning against the sink. he could feel his pulse jumping steadily beneath his sternum as his eyes suddenly zeroed in on her face. the slight dew to her forehead--the several strands of red hair that coiled there. he hated the thought for its invasion, but he was all too suddenly struck with the possibility that something had inevitably gone wrong with pleasant hill and it had just taken time to develop. 

he normally had a routine: coffee, run, shower, start the day. when they first started sleeping together that routine sort of morphed into one they’d navigate together. whoever woke up first got the coffee, but this morning when he brought it to her, it went cold by the bedside while she slept. she wasn’t really one to get sick and he wasnt really one to get worried either, but when she still wasnt up at seven, he went into the room with some tea to check on her. 

FULL NAME: steven grant rogers ALIAS: commander rogers AGE: 106 DATE OF BIRTH: july 4th, 1919 ALSO KNOWN AS: steve, (formerly) captain america IDENTITY: public

CURRENT TEAM(S): secret avenger OTHER AFFILIATIONS: avenger’s MULTIVERSE ORIGIN: earth-19999 SNAP STATUS: survived

HOMETOWN: brooklyn, ny CURRENT RESIDENCE: brooklyn, ny CURRENT OCCUPATION: secret avenger PAST OCCUPATION(S): lead the avengers

GENDER IDENTITY: cis male SEXUALITY: heterosexual NATIONALITY: american ETHNICITY: white

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: chris evans HEIGHT: 6′2″ HAIR COLOR: dirty blonde EYE COLOR: blue with flecks of green

ACCENT: very subtle/faded brooklyn accent, comes out when he drops off letters on certain words. SCARS: none that last due to his healing factor TATTOOS: none. RECOGNIZABLE FEATURES: i guess his eyes and hair? height/build? idk.

► BACKGROUND

FINANCIAL STATUS: more than comfortable thanks to military back pay from his time spent in the ice. EDUCATION LEVEL: high school graduate SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): english, german, russian, spanish, japanese, french, & italian. RELIGION: raised irish catholic, but i don’t see steve conforming to any particular religion or idea of “god” these days. CONVICTION(S): pardoned war criminal

► RELATIONS

FATHER: joseph rogers MOTHER: sarah rogers SIBLING(S): though steve isnt related to bucky, they grew up together and so he’s the closest thing to a brother steve has ever had. CHILDREN: james rogers (earth-555326)

EXTENDED FAMILY: the avengers BEST FRIEND(S): james buchanan barnes & sam wilson ADVERSARY: john walker, hydra PARTNER(S): natasha romanoff ( wife)

► EXTRA INFORMATION

HOROSCOPE: cancer JUNG TYPE: ISFJ -- the defender ENNEAGRAM: type one : the reformer

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good -- the rebel VICE: stubbornness VIRTUE: courage

► PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: altruistic, honest, empathetic, reliable, driven, charismatic   NEGATIVE TRAITS: stubborn, restless, societal stray, tunnel vision, does not follow directions

► THEME SONG

not sure about theme song but his favorite song is aint no mountain high enough by marvin gaye

► HEADCANONS/FUN FACTS

steve loves food. he likes trying new food, he likes cooking food, he enjoys all of it. food was, by comparison, very plain and boring in  20′s & 30′s. he was very much a “eat because he had to” kind of person, where as now he’s a “eat because he wants to” kind of person. 

he still draws, but it’s rare, and usually something like a sketch of natasha sitting on the couch or the view from their apartment balcony.

he’s pretty convinced he fever dreamed the whole mjolnir thing.

he’s always just a little bit sad by how much more congested new york is than it used to be.

he’s a big morning person-- his internal body clock has him up at a quarter to five most days and he likes to get in a work out or a run to start.

he really enjoys a good pie or cobbler. doesn’t matter what kind. double points if it’s served hot & with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. 

he’d really love a dog but knows he wouldn’t be able to give it necessary stability. 

► ABILITIES / SKILLS / POWERS

super soldier : enhanced strength, speed, regeneration, durability, reflexes, agility, stamina & senses. 

expertly trained tactician / strategist, gymnast, multilingual, skilled artist, expertly trained in several forms of hand to hand combat, expert marksman, great cook, excellent music taste, great friend, strong leader.

► WANTED CONNECTIONS

NAME or ALIAS: lex AGE: 25 DATE OF BIRTH: july 19 GENDER IDENTITY: female SEXUALITY: demisexual/bi NATIONALITY: american SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): lmao one unless u count being fluid in dumb bitch PAST OCCUPATION: joss whedon’s arch nemesis CURRENT OCCUPATION: queen of manifesting the end of joss whedon’s shitty career

► APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 5′6″ HAIR COLOR: dark brown bb EYE COLOR: 💩 TATTOOS: ner but i do want some

► EXTRA INFORMATION

CHARACTERS YOU PLAY: lol let’s not make me do that MEMBER SINCE: originally? 2014 :) FAVORITE MARVEL CHARACTER: baby i can’t pick just one  FAVORITE MARVEL MOVIE: CATWS will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart FAVORITE MARVEL BADDIE: hela or agatha lmaooo CHARACTER YOU WISH WOULD ENTER THE MCU: nah but bring back pietro maximoff fr :|

► ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

HOROSCOPE: cancer  JUNG TYPE: ...idk what this means *cries* ENNEAGRAM: *cries more* MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good or chaotic neutral?? i think???? *cRIES* SIN: bi thot  VIRTUE: ......bi thot MOTTO: play stupid games, win stupid prizes ! THEME SONG: fergalicious by fergie

► PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: actual clown, rarely a dull moment, can feed u, will likely ask for nothing in return NEGATIVE TRAITS: very small very bad attention span, do not ask to task, cannot brain, inarticulate

► FUN FACTS

“Look – I feel like I already made it pretty clear that I don’t want to try and explain myself here. I put the shield down. That’s that.”

Steve was well acquainted with loss well before Wanda put a sea of it in his head. He lived a full year of it as a crash course when he lost Natasha to Vourmir. They’d lost their friends five years before that. He lost best friends, lovers — and all the collateral in between.

But it was different to live there. To exist somewhere between the dark spaces of someone else's grief and your own, while you masked a smile on your face and kissed a stranger to bed every night. It was like drowning with an audience, except no one helped you. They fed their applause and waited until your lungs filled up. And that played on a loop until wanda had cut them all free.

Steve stared at their ceiling, disoriented. The dull light coming from the street outside reminded him he was in their apartment in brooklyn, where the window was opposite of where it’d been in his room in Westview. Even so, he still had to consciously force the tension back out of his muscles, but it didn’t fully leave them.

The spent feeling that wore his bones hollow after a fight was a different breed of monster from the one that left him feeling mentally drained now. Sitting upright, he closed his sandpapery eyes and inhaled a slow steady breath. He could feel the warm weight of nat in the bed next to him, but it was the smell of her shampoo in the sheets that convinced him.

Though he knew some part of him would always have a love for Peggy, he found love in someone else too. And what he hated most, was that whatever Westview was meant to be, soured whatever had been left of peggy and steve. It turned it into something foregin and wrong, out of time and place. Wedging an idea of something that had never really gotten the chance to grow into a garden that already had flowers. He appreciated Peggy for what she meant to him, and for the time that he had her in his life, but he didn’t yearn to be with her. His heart had belonged to the black widow for some time now and he had no intentions of asking for a return.

So, really, while his marriage to a faux peggy in westview would never sit well with him, it was mostly that it left him feeling like he’d cheated on his wife that churned his gut something rancid.

While all of this did seem kind of sadistic from the outside, Daisy felt like she completely understood Wanda. If Daisy had the power to bring back Lincoln somehow and live a perfect life, totally worry-free of the outside world, she probably would have done the same thing shortly after he had sacrificed himself for her. Vision and Wanda’s story wasn’t much different, and she really felt for Wanda. “Do you think it’s really her controlling all of this? I know she’s powerful but this is- a lot.”