healthy come soon

hi! i’ve had this blog for YEARS and i’ve only ever been slightly interested in it.

i’ve started ordering hello fresh/good foods/chef’s plate boxes and i have been (jokingly, i think) told to make a blog and review them. 

i was going to make a whole new blog but i am lazy and not internet savvy anymore so here we are, on this pre-existing blog that has.. i don’t even know what. body positive stuff? info on healthy foods? maybe some exercise things i’ve never done?

Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of CRAPPY COOKING!

I’m your host, Jen, and today I attempted to make a bacon and egg wrap without using an actual kitchen!

Why would I not use a kitchen, you may ask?

Well, I live in a basement and my kitchen is upstairs. I share with my landlady, and while she is very approachable and understanding, I always feel uncomfortable being in that space while she is trying to do her own meal preparations.

In my space, my appliances consist of a mini fridge, microwave, blender, and a toaster oven but the tray that goes into it is missing.

I have recently decided that I would like to make more of an effort to plan my meals and reduce my eating out for a couple of reasons: I am a broke-ass-bitch, I don’t eat regular meals and sometimes go a day and a half without eating anything, and I would like to stop maintaining weight and try to lose some.

I am still doing the Hello Fresh (HF), Chef’s Plate (CP), and Good Foods (GF) boxes. I have two more of the GF meals to make, and two weeks (so six meals) of CP. (More on this another day, maybe?)

Today’s effort was: bacon and egg tortilla wrap!

It sounds easy enough, and in theory, all I really needed was a microwave for a quick, easy, and semi-satisfying breakfast wrap. I definitely did not expect a quality dish, but I expected better than this.

Supplies used:

Tupperware container lid approximately the size of a large tortilla

A glass Tupperware bowl, appoximately 4 inches high and 4 inches in diameter

Microwave

Ingredients:

Tortilla, whole wheat (a healthy bitch)

Egg whites from a carton (again, healthy bitch)

Reduced sodium bacon (an accident, but… healthy bitch???)

Processed cheese slices (Kraft Singles)

Mayonnaise from a squeeze bottle

In my mind, it seemed easy. I would fill the Tupperware lid with the egg whites so it cooked in a flat disk like a tortilla. This is where disaster struck, and also where I found out my cat loves uncooked egg whites. It spilled on the fridge, the top of the counter (here known as my “workspace” NOT my office), inside the microwave, and down the front of the microwave cabinet.  After dealing with that, I found that the lid was not completely flat resulting in the edges of the egg white being cooked through before the centre. Tossed it.

I poured some egg whites into the glass Tupperware bowl because that’s how they did it when I worked at my college’s coffee shop and they were successful with it.

I had spread the mayonnaise all over the tortilla (mistake 2), and then when I added the cut in half egg puck (to cover more of the tortilla) it slid around, melting the mayo, burning my fingers. I added the processed cheese slices so they could get “melty”, (mistake 3).

I needed to cook the bacon, and used that same plastic Tupperware lid but I had to make sure it didn’t melt so it took like, 6 minutes to cook 2 pieces of bacon because I had to stop every 15 seconds to make sure it wasn’t on fire.

Finally, I was ready to add the bacon and wrap the fucker up, but the egg puck had melted the mayo and the cheese slices making it an awful goopy mess. The bacon went into it and then I tried to roll it and it just… oozed.

Every time I took a bite, it would ooze and I ended up with melty mayo and processed cheese all over me.

It ended up tasting fine, but that cooking process I do not recommend to anyone, ever.

hello all it is me again with another food review.  in this cooking experience, we attempted to follow Tasty’s recipe for a blueberry croissant bake.

this recipe was essentially taking canned croissants and then making an easy cheesecake recipe.

you make the croissants and put them in the bottom of the cake pan 

then you mix up the cream cheese, sugar, vanilla, milk, and eggs to make the cheesecakey part

then you layer, croissasnts, blueberry, cheesecake

a friend from work (though, an aside, what is with this phrase? she can be a friend or not a friend, the work part doesn’t MATTER???)-- a friend sent me a code for $40 off a box so i thought i would attempt, as i eat fast food for nearly every meal or i don’t eat at all and i

a) miss homecooked food, and

b) am gaining too much weight

for those that do not know, hello fresh is a meal delivery service where you pick the number of people you want to serve (2 or 4), and they send you the amount of the ingredients you need for however many meals you picked (3, 4, 5).

i picked 2 servings of 3 meals

sOooo i subscribed (with the option of unsubscribing later), and picked my 3 meals.

the meals i chose were (in order of cooking): blueberry bbq pork chops with sweet potato rounds, thyme chicken and roasted grapes with caramelized onion and garlic mashed potatoes, and chinese garlic beef tacos with quick pickled onion and carrot, cucumber, and peanuts.

i have made the first 2 meals.

today i will review the blueberry bbq pork chops with sweet potato rounds.

each recipe comes with an instruction/step by step sheet and it tells you how long it should take you to cook it. this one was 30 minutes. spoiler alert: it took me an hour and a half, but read on to see why

you do have to have a couple things on hand, this recipe needed oil, salt, and pepper, and the other two need sugar as well.

everything i need was there, preportioned. you do have to do your own chopping. it had the pork, sweet potatoes, green beans, cherry tomatoes, bbq sauce, blueberry jam, garlic, and i had to use my own oil. 

so the first step was to prepare the sweet potato & get them in the oven. i forgot to put them in the oven when it preheated, so mine were 12 min delayed at the end.

i had to cut the ends off the beans, mince the garlic, salt and pepper the pork i wont type out the entire cooking process

it seemed to be A LOT of used dishes, 2 cookie sheets, 1 pot, 1 pan and the associated spatulas 

there was also A LOT of packaging so it isn't super eco-friendly which generally i don't think about but i want to be more conscious!!

anyway, it was easy enough to cook and aside from forgetting to take the clean cast irons out of the oven before setting it to 450 degrees and setting off the smoke detector who keeps dishes in their oven when its not being used bc???? my fam never did 

but it was delicious!!! the pork wasn't too tough or chewy or dry, the portion size was great on this meal but i've heard that it can be small on others the green beans i think would need to be cooked a different way than pan fried, or maybe steamed a bit and then pan fried bc they were still too crunchy but yeah

 over all i'm happy with this meal and i would eat it again and it is the perf amt for me to have eaten tn and will have tomorrow

-

SO I ate it the second day at work, and it was NOT good. it did not hold up well.