insecurity

when dayeon first stepped foot into hydra, she wasn’t completely surprised by the competitive nature of the place. it was hard not have that mindset when it was clear that not everybody would be able to debut. she didn’t blame the other trainees at all. however, she was somewhat of a team player. while people may think she was being too naive, dayeon was convinced that even executives would want people who could work well with others. groups sold well because of chemistry, didn’t they? what group would have chemistry if everybody was biting at each other’s heads?  which is why she’s trying her best to keep a cool head on and help out her teammates instead of stomping all over them. the leader position was for this evaluation only, but she took it quite seriously. and although dayeon liked to see the best in every situation, even she could tell that eiji wasn’t on the same page as her. the sarcasm dripping from her words was painfully obvious, and she was stuck in a limbo.  but she decided to stick to her nature of talking things out, encouraging her groupmates so they could all put on a stellar performance as that would benefit all of them. “well, did you have anything you wanted to go over? a particular part that you may be struggling with or don’t think we’re in sync during?” perhaps she’d be a little more active if they went with a part she wanted.

when dayeon first stepped foot into hydra, she wasn’t completely surprised by the competitive nature of the place. it was hard not have that mindset when it was clear that not everybody would be able to debut. she didn’t blame the other trainees at all. however, she was somewhat of a team player. while people may think she was being too naive, dayeon was convinced that even executives would want people who could work well with others. groups sold well because of chemistry, didn’t they? what group would have chemistry if everybody was biting at each other’s heads?  which is why she’s trying her best to keep a cool head on and help out her teammates instead of stomping all over them. the leader position was for this evaluation only, but she took it quite seriously. and although dayeon liked to see the best in every situation, even she could tell that eiji wasn’t on the same page as her. the sarcasm dripping from her words was painfully obvious, and she was stuck in a limbo.  but she decided to stick to her nature of talking things out, encouraging her groupmates so they could all put on a stellar performance as that would benefit all of them. “well, did you have anything you wanted to go over? a particular part that you may be struggling with or don’t think we’re in sync during?” perhaps she’d be a little more active if they went with a part she wanted.

𝒙𝒐𝒙𝒐, @hdeiji

eiji didn’t want to be leader. it was too much responsibility for her. and it required too much communication with not only the members but with the company staff. it seemed that dayeon was taking her role very seriously. and that wouldn’t bother her so much if it didn’t seem to directly affect her. it kind of irked her. who was she to think that she had power just because the company assigned her the position of leader? in her opinion it was for show. a leader in the industry was a figurehead of sorts. what power did they really have? they did all the work. took on responsibilities that company didn’t want to handle. but they had no real power. and no real say in the direction the group went.

hien can’t recall the last time anyone needed her help — it’s pretty obvious that she has no idea how to react in a situation like this. panic takes over her quickly, and as she begins to dig eiji out from under the snow, she starts looking around for help. ❝ hey! please call someone! ❞ one of the trainees passing by nods in response, then turns to ski towards the lodge.

eiji isn’t one to make friends. she prefers to be independent. some may say a little to independent. in the industry she’s trying to get into she has to be. those who care to much typically come last. empathy is a weakness to many. at least this is what she’s seen. she likes being able to do things for herself. she doesn’t have to rely on anyone else. she isn’t dependent on anyone’s generosity. so being cared for isn’t something she’s used to. but with hien she felt she could be open and allow someone to care for her. that’s why her actions seemed like a betrayal. but she was starting to question if that was hien’s intention when she essentially disappeared.

beach resorts was something that suho has more experience in, in a sense. every now and then, his family had made a trip to some beach resort, deciding that it was time for a family trip. however, ski resorts was not something he has any experience in - though, he's really glad that he's gone nonetheless. even if he was barely going to go on the slopes, nonetheless, he simply just didn't want to possibly get injured. so, he was trying to avoid it; mostly - there was only a few times that he was actively using the slopes, but that was barely since he was going to on the ones meant for kids. either way, he was really excited to hear that they were going on the ski trip, and he was really thankful for it, to say the least.

family vacations were a common occurrence in the matsuo household. the list of destitutions she's visited is vast and varied. she’s the only child of her parents and got to reap all the benefits. every summer she’d go on vacation with her family. it was something she looked toward to every year. and every holiday they’d go and visit her family. typically they made a trip out of it. she always enjoyed their family vacations being close with her parents and extended family. but the beach resorts vacations were her favorite. while ski resorts were another destination her parents loved to visit. she still enjoyed them, but enjoyed them considerably less. any vacation for her is welcomed. she was making the most of this trip. but this trip was also going to be a time of relaxation. a break from the hustle of trainee life. which meant she couldn’t spend the entire trip running around the resort. a night out bowling was apart of the experience.

“Sometimes, my body feels like a burial ground for all the people I should have become.”

hien is hanging out with a small group of trainees when something ( or someone ) catches her eye. it’s eiji, the girl she’s recently had a falling out with, skiing down a slope. their story is not that interesting — having a crush on someone can have disastrous consequences for hien as a trainee, especially if that person is a girl. she wasn’t going to risk that, and thought it would be best for them both if she retreated while she still could.

eiji stirs from her spot buried in the snow. her descent down the mountain disrupting the smooth snow. snow is blanketing her as it steadily falls. today the snow fall is heavy, and she can feel the weight of it collecting where it falls on her. she can feel some of it seeping through her clothes. her shirt had come untucked during her fall leaving little pockets for it to seep through. it’s uncomfortable but she really doesnt feel like moving. despite the tumble she doesn’t feel as bad as she could. but she’s still dazed. her head is pounding. and she feels pressure that left her unable to open her eyes.

dragon strike bowling alley at yong pyong resort. with @hdeiji.

it may not be apparent to most but eiji loved to travel. it didn’t matter how far she went. as long as she was going somewhere. at first her move to seoul seemed like a vacation. in the first few weeks when everything still felt foreign. then it finally sunk in that she was there to stay. she still often times takes a day trips on any days she has off. when hydra announced a trip for all the trainees she was excited. no one would be able to tell, but she definitely packed as soon as she got home that night. every time she got some free time during this trip she was doing some activity around the resort. most of them alone. ski resorts were a fun seasonal thing, but she typically didn’t go to ski resorts. she preferred beach resorts. but she was going to make the most of this trip.