𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

"do you think we should be focusing more on their vocals or the choreography?"

with the question thrown out into the open, dayeon pressed pause on the practice video their trainees have taken for the day. she was proud of the progress they have made, but even she could tell that there were still things they could definitely improve on. however, she's never really taught before and was thankful that she had her peers to rely on. if she had to lead them on her own, she probably would have locked herself in the bathroom a few times.

"the choreography has a lot of points where they'll have to work together. do you think it'd be a poor idea to take like a few hours where we pass by on technical training and get them to know one another?"

one thing that dayeon's learned from her previous experience as a leader was that not everybody was going to be on the same page as herself. that was difficult enough working on her own, but now that she had a whole team to lead along with fellow instructors, she knew how important it was to juggle several opinions and thoughts together. while she wasn't expecting to clash much with namu, considering how well they already got along, she didn't want to make any quick assumptions.

"so, i'm not sure if i'm supposed to be conversing with the enemy, but how's your team going?" with that, she takes a seat beside riley before letting out a sigh.

dayeon swears she's not trying to pry anything out of riley. it's pure curiosity, really. while she doesn't know everything about her fellow trainee, this opportunity they've been given appears to be a new experience for many, and she was curious on how he was dealing with it.

admittedly, it had been a little hard to watch her friends and peers get picked to debut one by one while it seemed like she was stuck in a loop. a neverending loop, if she may add. nevertheless, she couldn't be more than happy upon hearing that chaeyeon had been picked as iaem's newest addition.

"spain! how exciting! i heard you girls will be there for like a whole month, right?" just a few months ago, dayeon couldn't imagine sitting here and having a calm conversation with the other beside her. however, looking back at it, the problem was always herself and her inferiority complex. now that she got to know chaeyeon, she thinks they could have become friends a lot earlier.

the timing was perfect.

frankly, dayeon was starting to feel like she'd hit a brick wall. she was beginning to find herself in a slump with how repetitive her days were becoming and watching some of her closer friends get their debut had her feeling lonelier than ever. however, just as those feelings were on the verge of growing, the company seems to have thrown her a curve ball. despite her excitement for this task, she has to admit she was surprised upon hearing of it. the fact that hydra was expecting their trainees to act as instructors was fascinating, and dayeon couldn't help but feel nervous.

would she be able to pull it off? she did well enough as the leader during the last evaluation, but that was with a group of people she considered her peers. everything felt different now that she would be given the label of instructor.

throughout her whole flight to los angeles, all dayeon could think about was the sense of responsibility she suddenly felt for the trainees she has yet to meet. although this was different from any of the tasks they've been given so far, she can't help but feel that it's going to be heavily weighted on them. this goes beyond skills, which are the basics for idol trainees. no, this was going to be a reflection of what kind of people they are.

it was kind of scary to think about it. she spent the whole twelve hour flight watching the song her trainees would be given, memorizing every line, every move, every beat. while she wasn't the type to hammer in perfection as she valued hard work, she was aware that results would be important.

whatever performance the girls put on would be equivalent to herself. her worth as an instructor and further on, her worth as a trainee back when she returned to hydra after this whole special event.

dayeon hated crying. not because she believed in the old saying that crying made you appear weak but because she couldn't always control her thoughts and feelings when she was crying. it's like her head gets clouded with all these what if situations, and she can't seem to think straight. that's why she disliked crying.

however, it's almost as if her pent up emotions were exploding tonight because she couldn't seem to stop the tears from falling. it was getting close to two years since she had started training at hydra, but it's like she fell into a slump. she couldn't see herself improving, and she was slowly getting fatigue from the repetitive schedule. of course, she knew all this before she started, and she was certain she could deal with it, but she was a human being, after all. it was getting exhausting.

it almost seemed like everybody else around the company building was busy beside dayeon. that wasn't completely inaccurate considering that iaem was preparing for a comeback and most of the boy trainees were participating in hyde academy. it was weird just how empty the place felt despite so many people being busy an occupied with their own things.

this was all a long way of saying that dayeon felt sort of lonely. a few trainees have come and gone, and it was getting harder and harder to keep a friendship around here. she's deep in her thoughts when she spots a familiar face that she hasn't seen in a while. mostly because sebastian was also participating on hyde academy. she was proud to see him going places, but she can't deny that she missed his company.

“i’m glad…” sebastian trailed off, feeling his cheeks flush, a tad bit embarrassed from the words he let out, but not stepping down or taking them back, after all, he meant every word he had said, he was just not used to speaking so honestly. “just..” he hesitated, staring intently at the mug he had placed in front of him, and if he stared any harder, he worried he would have set it on fire with how much he was glaring at it, stewing over his words, “sometimes the sun can get tired of shining. so– i guess what i’m trying to say is to not to be too hard on yourself if there are days where you feel like you can’t be as bright as you wish to be.”

there, he had said it, it wasn’t too hard, was it? he let his eyes dart to the side, peering at dayeon, offering her a small smile before grabbing a smaller paintbrush to dip in the paint, deciding to try and make some flowers and some butterflies. after all, both would look cute- but she was right, maybe starting with the flowers would be easier, after all. that was exactly what he did, lining the bottom of the mug with green lines, they would be the stems on with the flowers would rest on.

“i don’t think i would manage to make a mug either. i think it would end up just being a sort of pancake mug, or like- a smooshed plate.” he snorted, pausing from when he was just about to start drawing the bulbs of the flowers- he had decided to go with roses, they would contrast nicely against the baby blue sky he had previously made, and look pretty on the mugs if he drew them nicely enough- “besides, i think it would just be fun to experience that with friends. it would be kind of funny if we both ended up making frankenstein sort of creations rather than the mugs we were hoping to make. and- i heard that playing with clay was sort of therapeutic. it could be fun!”

ever since dayeon was young, she hadn't been afraid of being true to her emotions, and while she continued to keep that belief, she had seen firsthand how some of her fellow trainees seemed to mistake emotions as weaknesses. frankly, dayeon understands where they're coming from. really, she does from a fundamental point of view. it's the idea that emotions end up making someone vulnerable which is pretty fatal for a trainee. there are some people out there praying for everybody else's downfall.

that's why it's that much more refreshing to be out with sebastian because he really seems to get where she's coming from. he doesn't say anything nasty when she's completely honest with him, and she genuinely appreciates that. "i'll definitely keep that in mind," she tells him before giving him a playful wink and taking a look back down at her mug.