HAZY LOVIN

I hate the way I got

I hate that I thought it was my fault

I hate that you knew it was not

I hate that you still message

I hate that I still reply

I hate that it doesn’t matter what you do

and that I still want you in my life

I hate that I never want to lose you

I hate that you won’t just go

I hate that I still love you

And I hate that you still don’t

I felt loved

I felt adventurous

I felt admiration

I felt pride

I felt beautiful

I felt appreciated

I felt understood

You made me feel jealousy

You made me feel pain

You made me feel broken

You made me feel disturbed

You made me feel like just a body

You made me feel detached

You made me feel numb

You made me feel insensitive

I feel rage

I feel powerful

I feel enlightened

I feel contempt

I feel optimistic

I had a dream

I got everything I wanted

Not what you'd think

And if I'm being honest

It might've been a nightmare

“If I don't relapse and I stay strong

I could do anything I want to

Bump Lil Peep, when I die, I'ma haunt you”

She heard the songs I wrote about her

Now she hates my guts

I've seen people trippin' less while they on angel dust

- ✦pink cig✦ and Emo fruits

You didn’t look down and smile when I was handing you your paperwork.

You didn’t say they were “too big” when I purposely wore a baggy polo to work.

What’s changed?

Because I know my body hasn’t.

Honestly here to support this is so many ways.

The messages. The voice. The visual art. The story. The lyrics themselves.

I can’t imagine feeling numb to love and affection whilst others are falling for others all around.

I can’t imagine once being a bubbly caring person that from being hurt once too many times has turned cold.