Hazel

My name is Hazel and I write my thoughts down freely on this blog. I wanna make a book out of all my poems one day but for now I just wanna share some of them on here with you guys.

Please, add comments/annotations. Be free to tell me how you relate to them or how it speaks to you or just if you have a favorite! I just want to create a place where people similar to me can chat with each other or just relate and not feel so alone. I'd love to start conversations about these things and maybe help someone realize, "oh. Maybe I was treated unfairly and it wasn't me." Because I've had that moment plenty of times and wished I had a space to talk about it.

I'm not a professional writer by any means so please be kind lol <3

And remember you are all baddies and anyone who made you think otherwise is just mad they fumbled you.

One is messy.

One boy has been hugged,

One girl doesn’t know how.

She fights for him,

She doesn’t fight for her.

The boy knows his mother loves him,

The girl wonders why she doesn’t love her.

One boy… one girl… both from the same womb.

Falling for the boys who keep a disguise,

Til there’s no trace

Of the place

Or the people they once were

But I can’t sit here all day.

You’re not hungry.

PLEASE don’t lose any more weight than that. You look like skin ànd bones.

Why aren’t you eating anything?

Aren’t you hungry?

PLEASE don’t gain that freshman 15.

Just keep exercising the fat will go away.

Just don’t eat these types of foods ànd you’ll be better.

I don’t think I’m attracted to you anymore.

You taught me bodies were painful.

You taught me it was bad to be anything but thin.

You taught me it was bad to be anything but thick.

But most of all you taught me how to hate my body.

How to speak to it in the mirror.

I ache for the love I couldn’t have.

I ache for the body they didn’t want.

I ache for the person I know I can become.

I ache for freedom,

Success,

Joy,

Laughter.

I ache for the basics in life….

Please. Let me out of this house.

and it was about how much she missed her husband.

It stuck with me for some reason…

Maybe just cause I wanted to feel that kinda love so strongly.

Where ur soulmates for life.

Where ur each others person…

no fights or if there is arguments they don’t last long

and most of all,

Gentle.

Lovely.

Even though I always knew I’d never go back to you-

it’s nice to think I no longer have any connection to you.

I hope you find your true self-

And maybe that was why I still acted like a child…

Soft.

Gentle.

Reflecting what he sees.

“Oh u kissed me just to kiss me- not to make cry.”

The tower moment.

The one you’ve tried to avoid.

Death surrounded you, telling you the change is needed,

but you ignored it…

You didn’t want to face what’s happened…

“I’m annoying- I’m too much- I can’t settle down- I need to chill-”

When can I be my authentic self?

When can I show excitement without being told to shut up?

Why does my behavior have to be labeled as annoying or rambunctious?

And then I’m the quiet kid…

Why am I so silent?

Why do I not socialize?…

Look what happened when I did.

I was shut out.

Told to stop talking.

Told to change myself, change who I am.

And all I heard was, “shut up or no one will like you.”

“Stop talking so others don’t think you’re weird, stupid,

annoying”

annoying

annoying