ehehehehehe

he gaggy on my rogers until I whoopsy-doo

he gaggy on my rogers until I whoopsy-doo

#all they serve is cunt

the only bad part about going to the zoo is hearing adult men confidently tell their kids or gfs objectively incorrect information about the animals we’re looking at and having to remain silent. do u know the restraint it takes to say nothing when a grown adult man tells someone “falcons are in the same family as eagles” next to me? no babygirl. no.

fyi falcons are not closely related to other birds of prey (hawks/eagles/buzzards). falcons are actually parrots that minmaxed for a glass cannon dps build.

assault parrots, if you will

once you start saying “yippee!” you will never stop

Babe you’re like the silliest goose I’ve ever met

RuPaul wouldn't think your messy room is very cunt, do you want me to send him a picture of it? That's what I thought

People who give pets a bit of chocolate when they know it’s their pets last day are a bit of a funny concept. Imagine being old and friends with an alien who will live ten times your lifespan and they’re like “ah shit he’s dying, well since you’re dying anyway haven’t you always wanted to know what uranium tastes like?”