shameless lesbian

yes, her soulmate is vivi, true.

idk it’s like fan-ship camaraderie

WHITE BACKGROUND.

NO HESITATION.

THAT SECOND FRAME WITH NO THOUGHTS AND CLEAR EYES.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

OF COURSE THERE ISN’T ANY DECEPTION IN HIS EYES BECAUSE HE. AIN’T. ENTIRELY. LYING. HERE. MAN IS HELPLESSLY IN LOVE WITH HIS WIFE CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. (YOU CANNOT)

I BET HE’S TRYING HELLA HARD RN TO INTERNALLY CONVINCE HIMSELF THATS A LIE AND MISERABLY SPIRALING MUHAHAHAHA ANYA WHERE ARE YOU WHEN WE NEED YOU

ALSO. ALSO. ALSO.

"Shut up," he says with a strained voice. "You know we can't do that-"

the main issue is liliya’s religious absolutism vs phyllis’s hostile atheism. its literally the core of both their characters, liliya’s faith is literally her STRUCTURE, while phyllis’s atheism is reactive bc jesus to her represents: manipulation, authority, adults telling her WHO she is and WHAT she is. liliya submits to a higher authority while phyllis tries to reject ALL authority.

the core dynamic i see between them is trauma recognizing trauma, but they both handle trauma VERY differently. liliya is disciplined and emotionally armored, she is trauma-conditioned. phyllis is emotionally volatile and attachment starved, she has a fragmented identity where she is stuck repeating trauma loops. i see liliya as a substitute attachment figure.

i of course dont see them clicking immediately though, they would be the most toxic enemies to sorta lovers dynamic ever lmfao. to phyllis, liliyas faith would look like total cowardice and emotional avoidance. while liliya would see phyllis as blasphemous and chaotic. i think liliya would portray phyllis’s as a test from god, AND HEAR ME OUT ON THIS BC I LIKED THIS IDEA:

what if liliya saw puppet futterman as a corruption of her? she sees puppet futterman as a sin, a rot. while phyllis herself is the original soul, a wounded child. i think liliya recognizes phyllis and how trauma shaped her, how she learned cruelty to be intimacy and anger as a tie to what hurt her. they eventually shape a relationship through this “salvation project” (liliya basically: I CAN FIX HER!!!)

oh my god holy rant. sorry. ahem. anyways, i dont think she would argue with futterman but instead completely invalidate him. saying how “he is not real” and “must be removed.” this is very scary for phyllis bc it would basically be existential erasure to her which would trigger a threat response and make her cling to dr futterman harder. puppet futterman would become more violent and intrusive while phyllis would become more defensive.

liliya would act like the parent she never had, but much like how a cult leader becomes a parent. and although she acts like she cares, this isnt actually about phyllis. its about her needing to believe corruption is external, bc if corruption is internal then liliya herself would be corrupt. i dont think she would exactly try to heal her, but replace what shaped her. “your father shaped you wrongly. let God reshape you correctly.”—the same parent who says “i know what you need better than you do.” which mirrors phyllis’s original trauma structure that she is susceptible to, just gentler.

liliya would be very obsessive, protective, and morally supervising, she would provide a structure to phyllis that feels like safety. BUT she would also control and override her identity which feels like suffocation. at first, this feels good to phyllis: someone notices, liliya intervenes when shes distressed, liliya calls her “good,” “chosen,” “clean.” which would soften phyllis and encourage her to behave and try to supress dr. futterman, bc she wants to please liliya at the chance of being “good.” phyllis’s entire thing is that she WANTS to be a “good girl.”

BUT eventually, suppressing dr futterman = suppressing her trauma expression, so the pressure builds and she becomes more dissociative and anxious. every failure becomes moral, “i wasn’t strong enough” which deepens her shame. which strengthens the “rot.”

and as phyllis becomes more distressed, liliya sees it as evidence, that phyllis’s suffering is liliya doing the right thing. the worse phyllis feels, the more convinced liliya becomes that shes helping. bc liliya thinks shes fighting her trauma, and her fathers influence. so when phyllis resists or lashes out, she doesnt see HER doing that, she sees the “rot.”

liliya believes stopping would be abandoning phyllis. if she stops while phyllis is in pain, in her eyes shes letting the corruption win, so stopping feels like neglect. continuing feels like love. she would give phyllis structure, consistency, and correction. things that phyllis desperately lacks. but she would also remove her autonomy, rewrite her identity, and erase her trauma instead of holding it like a wound.

so the relationship doesnt really become mother and daughter. but the shepard and lamb.

During their friendship (more platonic interactions with subtle romance)

I think Noah would have a slightly difficult time opening up and he would be insecure but subtly. Mirage being carefree would have to work his way to have Noah open up comfortably

Mirage definitely fell first and the hardest, Noah it was slow and a bit of denial not because Mirage presents as male but for the fact Mirage is a robotic alien who is 3 times his size

Noah would do frequent check ups and do all the maintenance work not just because he doesn't want people finding out about Mirage but he feels guilty that Mirage nearly died for him

Noah wouldn't open up about his guilt for a while till maybe 2 maybe 3 years after, Mirage feels bad for not checking in on him because he knew that it was hard on both of them

Mirage would turn invisible with Noah inside and help them sneak into drive through movie theatres, so free movies

I would like to think that Mirage was the one to open up about his feelings because he is better talking about his feelings than Noah. If Noah were to confess first, he would have to be tipsy or it was a genuine slip up

While dating

Music dates and exploration with each other, I think that they would listen to albums together and make comments about them together, they did this as friends but now they do it more often where Noah is laying on top of Mirage

Mirage is a cuddle bug but Noah gets sore and stiff easily so they compromise by snuggling via in alt form with Noah curled up in the back seats with a blanket and some pillows

Those sneaking out to the movies turn into Mirage full on pirating films using his ability to have access to the web and he will project it. No promises that he won't get a bit touchy with Noah like running his digits along Noah's arms and legs

Mirage ironically loves being a little spoon but it's genuinely impossible for Noah so he is stuck being big spoon. He is fine with it though because it still means he is close with Noah

Noah moves his work bench from his room to the garage and gets a couch in there too so he can spend some nights with Mirage

If they get married, Mirage won't understand it at first but thinks of it was an ultimate act in Conjunx Endura so he tries to pop the question super fast into their relationship or he immediately accepts if Noah beats him to it. Noah doesn't know about Conjunx Endura right away but once he does, he likes to indulge with it often with Mirage to make sure that he feels loved and cared for.

Married life

Noah would fight every way possible to find a space where they could both live together and isn't a small garage that way Mirage has more room to move around. Mirage could careless because he loves his husband

Noah learned a cybertronian language with the help of the other autobots to perfect his vows and show his dedication. Mirage does the something similar where his vows are all in Spanish (Wasn't difficult at all because Mirage understands every human language). They both ugly cry at each other's vows. Mirage doesn't mind Noah's odd accent when speaking his native language

Their marriage is almost the same of how they were both friends and romantic partners. It's playful and serious in the appropriate times.

Their marriage on government standards doesn't exist but Noah could care less if a paper stated they were married or not.

They have dates 2 times a week and it's always outdoors, Mirage finds ways where they can be out in public or semi public. His holoform would come in handy for them.

Now this is the part where I am split

If Noah becomes immortal with the spark mates logic, he would be a bit depressed because he outlives everyone but with time he is able to manage it if that means that he has Mirage by his side.

Someone has already stated this in a different post but I'd like to add onto Mirage's promise of keeping Noah safe and the whole scene when Kris said that Noah wasn't sure if he'd come back alive.

I think it was in that scene Mirage ultimately decided he was going to willing to give up his life for Noah. Especially when he gave a piece of himself to Noah and also let him keep it. I feel like it is almost like giving someone your organ. Yes you can survive with one of the paired organs but you are giving something away that you cant necessarily get back.

This is more apparent with his life.