Mine Are Bigger

can someone please send me that post abt washing your sheets "climb in my brothers"

“Technically all food is vomit inducing, after all you couldn't throw up if you had nothing inside you” me to my friend who made fun of my mayonnaise sandwich

Well fuck, this made me ugly cry on a Friday

Ahhhh this was a really good lil story, made me tear up thinking about how I might talk to myself had I not changed the way I have

It's really important when you're at work to go out there and really give it your 60%. Maybe 35%.

sudden urge to burst into tears. im not a toddler i just agree with their beliefs

i recently had a thought. which, as you can imagine, was stressful

mocking the cutscene right before a level where you keep dying because you’ve heard it so many times

"I bet it's so easy to be a cat and not have to worry about work or school!" Well THINK AGAIN. Kitties are so little that they can't even get their own ice cream out of the freezer. Their paws are too Small.

*knocks a glass off the table like a cat* i'm horny

sorr- (remembers that thanking instead of apologizing is healthier for you and your relationships) thank you for allowing me to prematurely ejaculate on your couch