Lord Sheogorath has insisted that I make my own blog. I do hope that you all will not make me regret doing so.
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@haskillofficial
Lord Sheogorath has insisted that I make my own blog. I do hope that you all will not make me regret doing so.

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*turns you into a plushie*
[He sighs. This is not the first time this has happened. It likely will not be the last.]
[Contacting Sheogorath took Magnus longer than She wanted to but several situations arose. Once they were mostly dealt with, and once She had split Herself to keep Her son company, it couldn't wait any longer. So She approached Sheogorath when the younger God was hopefully free and in a light mood. This conversation isn't likely to be easy.]
@he-who-abstained
[Sheogorath was sitting upside down on Their throne, arguing with Haskill. Upon noticing Magnus's arrival, however, both fell silent. After a moment, Sheogorath waved.]
Hi Maggy! What brings You here?
Hello Sheogorath. There is something We must discuss which I don't think You would be too happy to agree to.
Not a strong start, but I'm tired of Haskill telling Me to rest, so go ahead!
There is no use in stalling things out. You are the enemy of Jyggalag, everyone knows as much. However, I believe that You both are tired of being attacked by one another so I propose an opportunity to sort some things out.
[Sheo stares at Magnus for a moment, then flips Themself right side up.]
You're asking Me to make peace with Jiggle Ass? The guy that likes destroying My realm? The guy that thinks grey should be the only colour to exist?
I've had a talk with Him before this. He did not oppose the idea. It would be beneficial to both of You as niether have to rebuild Your respective realms.
I believe I've made some progress in His views to help Him be more... open-minded. All I'm asking is for You to seize hostilities for at least one meeting and try to understand each other.
[Sheogorath stared for a bit longer before slowly leaning back on Their throne.]
Fine. One meeting. That's it. If He tries anything, I'm turning His sword into a jellyfish.
The meeting will take place on My realm, a neutral ground for You both. I expect You not to start anything either.
Is there a specific time that works well?
Seventeen years from now works just great :)
Anything that works a little worse? Sooner perhaps.
I suppose I could go down to sixteen years.
I'm afraid I'm busy then as well. Any space within this month? Preferably before something happens to change Jyggalag's mind.
>:/
Fine. Whatever. Just pick a time and I'll be there.
How about a week from now?
Yeah. Sure. Fine. I'll definitely remember that.
[They definitely won't.]
Perhaps ask Your Chamberlain to remind You.
[They sigh and look over at Haskill.]
Remind Me?
Of course, my Lord.
@he-who-abstained
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what Akatosh intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What in oblivion?" As I grab my powdered wig and Skyrim rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first mer, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second mer, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two mer in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off horse stable alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the guards to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as Akatosh intended.
I was wondering when you would get around to me. I believe you would find the Court of Dementia to your liking. You may find them on the Crucible side of Lord Sheogorath's Palace.
Lord Sheogorath pretends that everything is alright. That nothing happened. I know what Sanguine did to Him. Attacking my Lord in His own throne room.
Such actions should not to be tolerated.

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"you look tired" thanks I am
Slay diva!! *runs around in a circle for the next 6 hours then pours a bowl of fondue over Haskill*
Just another day in the Isles!
[Haskill sighs. It will take forever to get the fondue off of his suit.]
Don't worry, Haskill! I'll help you clean your outfit <3
Thank You, my Lord.
Slay diva!! *runs around in a circle for the next 6 hours then pours a bowl of fondue over Haskill*
Just another day in the Isles!
[Haskill sighs. It will take forever to get the fondue off of his suit.]
Ok so 18 pounds of cokane, 12 pounds of crake and 7 male strippers, but make sure none of them are white, I cant see the coke on them if they are
Ah, you must be one of my Lord's followers. Pleasure. I do believe you would get on rather well with the Court of Mania. You may find them in the Bliss side of Lord Sheogorath's Palace.
Haskill gets ten smooches immediately <3
Your affections are appreciated, as ever, Lord Sheogorath.

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*flies past*
- 🛸
[Haskill is not in the least bit disturbed. He sees stranger things on a daily basis.]
Haskill?
Can you give something to Auncle Sheo for me?
Of course. What would you like me to bring to Them?
(They hold out a cheese wheel that has every possible cheese.)
[Haskill takes it.]
I am certain Lord Sheogorath will appreciate this. Thank you.
[Stendarr found his way to the Shivering Isles the minute that he'd gotten used to this new body. He needed to find Sheogorath, and solve the chaos he'd sown. He needed to express his regrets, no matter what. Sheo hadn't deserved that.]
Haskill?
[... But first, he needed to find the Prince. And to do that, he'd need to get Haskill to show him to where they might be.]
— @lord-of-brutality
[Haskill raised an eyebrow at what appeared to be Molag Bal.]
You come at a difficult time, Molag Bal. Lord Sheogorath is not accepting visitors at the moment. Please come back later.
I'm not... Akatosh damn it all, I hate this body. Haskill, it's not Bal. It's me, Stendarr. I need to go to Sheogorath and apologize to them now that I'm back to my senses. Gods, I was a dick earlier... Haskill, please.
[Haskill frowns, studying Him. After a moment, he nods curtly.]
Very well. You may find Lord Sheogorath at the Punishment Point. I can provide you direct transport. Do be mindful. Lord Sheogorath is in a... delicate state.
[Stendarr found his way to the Shivering Isles the minute that he'd gotten used to this new body. He needed to find Sheogorath, and solve the chaos he'd sown. He needed to express his regrets, no matter what. Sheo hadn't deserved that.]
Haskill?
[... But first, he needed to find the Prince. And to do that, he'd need to get Haskill to show him to where they might be.]
— @lord-of-brutality
[Haskill raised an eyebrow at what appeared to be Molag Bal.]
You come at a difficult time, Molag Bal. Lord Sheogorath is not accepting visitors at the moment. Please come back later.
Haskill?
Can you give something to Auncle Sheo for me?
Of course. What would you like me to bring to Them?

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[Sanguine appears in the Shivering Isles, eyes widening when They see the state of the place. Thunderstorms sweep across the landscape, plants in both Mania and Dementia are withering, the sea churns, and the fauna is even more aggressive than usual. In all the millennia of friendship They had shared with Sheogorath, They had never seen the Isles in such a state.]
Sheo? You there?
[Haskill appears before Sanguine. Though the chamberlain normally appeared indifferent, right now he looked very anxious.]
You have chosen a bad time to visit the Shivering Isles, Sanguine.
Yeah, no shit. But I'm here to help. Where is Sheogorath?
[Haskill studied Sanguine for a moment before nodding, satisfied that the Prince really was here to help.]
Lord Sheogorath lies at the Punishment Point.
[He pauses for a moment before continuing.]
I must warn You... They are extremely volatile at the moment. I cannot guarantee Your safety or Theirs, should You seek Them out.
[Sanguine appears in the Shivering Isles, eyes widening when They see the state of the place. Thunderstorms sweep across the landscape, plants in both Mania and Dementia are withering, the sea churns, and the fauna is even more aggressive than usual. In all the millennia of friendship They had shared with Sheogorath, They had never seen the Isles in such a state.]
Sheo? You there?
[Haskill appears before Sanguine. Though the chamberlain normally appeared indifferent, right now he looked very anxious.]
You have chosen a bad time to visit the Shivering Isles, Sanguine.