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Smoking my bigarette

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milanesa42

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

otternottertv

poke you with my noise

shinraalpha

*sniff sniff sniff* ah, i see. you are not an ant.

luncheon-aspic

??????

mammalianmammals

Silky Anteater a.k.a. Pygmy Anteater (Cyclopes didactylus), family Cyclopedidae, found in southern Mexico, Central America, and the northern half of South America

* Nocturnal

wolvesintheflowers-deactivated2

I laughed to hard at this fucking thing.

nattousan

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uhmuhummmuhhh

how talented!

uhhhhmanda

Just came home from a dinner party with the friendgroup at which several people kept saying "Ask Pedro" or "Pedro will know" and I was terrified that they were referring to an AI like Claude but no, thank fuck, they were referring to a cardboard cutout of Pedro Pascal that someone left upstairs and who has been designated a kind of patron saint status in the household.

foopsie-daisy

Game of the year

benepla-deactivated20200506

I just found the funniest fucking thingGGGGG it’s a website where you make fake simpsons synopsises and compile screenshots from the show that fit the plot, which is simple enough but this is the first one I found

he just fucking murders homer gay rights

drybrian-deactivated20191103

op how could you not add this one

willmelon

my fave is the one where homer realises they’re trans

sistertaxon

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

thesylverlining

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

kittyknowsthings

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety?

systlin

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.”

totohoy-blog

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

systlin

I mean.

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.”

musicalhell

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future. So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

fuckstaffposts

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

rpluvsyj

This post is a blessing

wittyusername97

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

kitvalkyrie

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

10thingsihateabout-all-yall

Oh my god they were phishing

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0ddoblivion

Sorry I can’t draw for you guys today I’m busy making delicious food for my creatures

indigosfindings

it's crazy when couples & friends & whatnot refer to themselves as "a packaged eel". like wow you two are so close that you are fusing into a long slimy fuck... & theyre putting you in a box......

eightyonekilograms

An experiment in language change

Nifty little language game here.

I can read back to 1500 with basically no difficulty

at 1400 I have to read slowly and carefully, but I can understand all of it save a couple words

at 1300 I can still comprehend most of it if I read slowly, but a much larger percentage of the words are unfamiliar to me, even with context

1200 and earlier are almost totally unintelligible

homunculus-argument

Top 10 branches of science ranked by how bad it would suck to be killed by them (from best to worst)

Physics - probably the nicest just on the grounds of how fast that's gonna be. Like if you're a goner before any of the other sciences can get to you, you probably don't even have time to feel anything.

Biology - the most standard default way of dying. Most of the time it sucks but not badly enough to warrant you its own wikipedia page.

Geology - one of the oldest OG classics. Rock hits Og. Og is gone.

Psychology - slow tigers are chasing you.

Zoology - fast tigers are chasing you.

Sociology - idk me and the rest of the angry mob agree that you had it coming.

Chemistry - this is a hard one to place because there's a lot of variation. But anyhow you're getting undone on a cellular level.

Mathematics - how the fuck did you even do that.

Cosmology - why the fuck did you even do that?

Theology - what the fuck did you even do?

cathartidae

everyone should go check out the museum of all things. it's wikipedia but procedurally generated physical rooms and you can literally track down links. recently ive been speedrunning to various wasp pages. check it out

you can even play it in vr!

MoAT download (it's free!!)

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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sreegs

i'm not a lesbian as far as i know and i already have a wife but thanks tumblr

sreegs

man what did i click on that tumblr thinks im gay

teaspoon-sarah

the sign in button?

sreegs

homunculus-argument

I hate how the advice for avoiding burnout is all "if you feel like everything is a chore you're making yourself do, you should rest and do things you want to do voluntarily :)" like the fuck you mean want to do. I don't want to cook a nice homemade meal, go outside to spend time in nature, make cutesy fun little crafts, read books, or do any of that shit. Those are also chores I make myself do. Self care is a chore. Either I am up and making myself do shit that I don't want to do because people are making me and I am supposed to, or it's phone in bed. There is no secret third thing.

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