Valerian Root and Snake Oil

"it's just growing pains" -> "you're too young for that to hurt that bad" -> "you just need to get in better shape" -> "welcome to being old, everyone is in pain"

don’t ever kill your self because maybe someday you will get brunch with your tumblr mutual

I love a woman with a loud ass laugh. I love a cackle. I love a guffaw. Love when a bitch laughs so hard it scares the dog. Be unapologetic in your joy.

I like the nodding emoji 🙂‍↕️ for how at peace it is. when I use it I feel like a wise sage who has reached an enlightened truth of the universe. mmmm 🙂‍↕️ monkey

Aw, what a good girl. That’s right, kitten. You’re going to come back to my house and. Wgat was that.

(dreamy sigh) my doomed yuri #mydoomedyuri

(dreamy sigh) my evil yuri #myevilyuri

Somehow being a person does not come naturally to me

DO NOT LET SOCIAL MEDIA TURN YOU INTO AN AMERICAN

Talking about shit half your mutuals dgaf about is important and we have to keep doing it forever

having VR sex and she's hitting my amazing digital cervix