Yeah Idk

And then you’re plagued with the thought of them.

Z, you taught me that even though you can spend two and a half years of your life (from ages 15-18) that no matter how much devotion, growth, love and communication you give to a relationship, that doesn’t mean the other person will appreciate that. You showed me that even though you work about 10 hours a week, spending that little bit of money trying to make someone feel important by taking them out, buying them things just because you want to and making every special occasion something worth while doesn’t mean you’ll be loved. You taught me that no matter how much you try and how much you beg and plead, you will never open up to me about what the fuck I did that was so wrong. Unless it’s because I didn’t do your homework, you have no problem expressing your opinion on that. You taught me that no matter the effort, the sleepless nights, the anxiety, tears and worry I experience, the truth is still “too much” for me to handle because you doing hard drugs and drinking your life away is “harmless fun”. You taught me that I’m boring because my idea of fun is staying home with the love of my life and watching a movie, not going and being your designated driver while you slowly begin to kill yourself. You taught me that even when I’m getting my heart broken, 5 days before the high school prom you promised you’d take me to that it’s not okay to cry and it is in fact annoying. You taught me that one day before prom that when I ask you to let me cry, it’s okay for you to slam the car door and punch a mailbox while screaming at me to “get the fuck away from me”. You taught me that lying to me and drinking so much I needed to come and save you was okay, and that it was even more okay to punch a hole in the wall when I told you why it wasn’t. Z, you taught me a lot. But most importantly, you taught me that you didn’t deserve my love. You never deserved any part of me and what I gave you. You taught me that I am so much more than some famous meme page runners girlfriend. You taught me that my friends and my family know me best. You taught me that you don’t know me at all. You taught me that if you want to ruin yourself, I will have no part in it while I earn myself a university degree and make something of myself. You taught me that I am more than just some girl who got dumped by her long term boyfriend 5 days before prom, 7 days before graduation, and 9 days before my birthday. You taught me that these memories are some of the best in my life, and I’m hopeful for my future after your darkness. Thank you for setting me free.

And you never will again

Thank you